Why Edward? Why!
by Rurple101
Summary: Bella & Edward Cullen have been married for several years and they are planning on having children, but with the problems of getting pregnant - out comes a series of events which may spoilt their happy ending.
1. Loss

**Starting to do correct spellings and grammar mistakes as I made them wrong first time round. Then afterwards a chapter will probs come.**

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**Full Summary****: Bella & Edward are married and have been for several years. They are planning on having children, but with the problems of getting pregnant - out comes a secret that threatens to end their well-strong marriage and future. What will happen?**

Why Edward? Why?

Chapter 1: Loss

My phone rang - I answered it and find it's the doctors...again. I put it on loudspeaker and I sit next to Edward. He holds my hand in his as we wait with bated breath.

_"There is a slight problem in the test results, Mr & Mrs Cullen" _Dr Irina said through the phone, _"Apparently, seeing as your menstrual cycle is lessened this month, Mrs Cullen - you've lost your baby. I am deeply sorry. Goodbye." _and she hung up.

It was silent for ages. Edward and I just sat there.

Mesmerised by what had just been said.

_Failed! _I screamed at myself. _That's the fucking 4th time already! You're never going to be a mother! You don't deserve to be a mom when your body isn't able too!_

Edward's voice came out of my thoughts as well. He wasn't yelling, just pitiful. _Bella, love - why are you letting me down? You know how much I wish to be a father and that cannot ever happen again - you hear me? _

I gulped. It was only then, that I realised that I was quietly crying. Edward had his arm round my waist and I felt the same feeling again. _Rejection_.

My body seemed to hate me. _Why_? Why couldn't I produce a child? I yearned to be a mother and this is how Mother Nature repays me for a being a vegetarian all my life and recycling?

I got up and decided I had to be strong and get over this. I walked into the kitchen and stopped as soon as I spotted the photo on the fridge.

It was my first ultra-sound photo, which we'd had just last weekend. My tears came thicker and I couldn't see. I grabbed some kitchen roll and dabbed at my eyes. I was the problem; I was the person not being able to contain a child. _This was so unfair!_

I sensed him behind me, but didn't turn. He'd still have the same dejected face which would make him feel and looks like my imaginary Edward. Nothing could replace the _real_ Edward but they matched so easily. He snaked his arms round my waist.

"_Shh_" she said, hushing me. I turned round and cried into his shoulder.

He lifted me up and sat me on the counter top. He then started to silently cry. I hated seeing him cry. I brushed his tears away but loads more followed.

At this point I could barely see at all. I yanked the kitchen towel so much, that a whole roll fell out and along the floor. I groaned and clung to Edward.

"Bella - you must understand that I don't blame you _at all" _He whispered, passionately. I nodded my head.

He pressed me into him and I breathed in his sweet honey and freesia scent. Again, a long silence followed. Then I had a bad thought.

"What.._what_ about..._about_..._your parents_ and..._Alice_...Rosalie and Emmett and _even_ Jasper and..._my_ parents!" I wailed.

They would be disappointed as we were. I knew that silently my parents honestly were angry that my being wasn't bringing them a grandchild.

Renee, my own mother had _even said it_. They weren't as forgiving as the Cullens or Edward was. That just shows how much they cared.

Carlisle, Edward's dad was a doctor himself and understood it completely and comforted me without getting bored or tired.

They _cared _about me.

My parents just wanted a grandchild to bribe as I wasn't "_loyal_" enough to them anymore.

"I love you, Edward" I whispered.

He kissed my cheek. "So do I, love. We need to find a better way of coping with the loss easier. It scares me seeing so weak-looking like that. It's _not your fault_, just...something _isn't ready_ in your system and when it is, we'll know about it. Ok? Please calm down Bella, sweetheart."

He stroked my hair and kept me close to him. I slid of the counter, but stayed attached to him. I kissed him on the lips and he responded.

His lips weren't hungry, just comforting as they usually were in this situation. He moved his lips, in with mine and gently and slowly, calmed my sobs until they were almost gone.

We broke out of the kiss and I hiccupped. He grinned but it didn't reach his emerald green eyes. He stroked my cheek and kissed me again. He soothed the stress out of me and held me even closer. I felt him wanting to come out, but I pushed him down.

"_Not tonight_ Edward, I'm sorry." and I was. His erection was hard to say no to, but what if I got "_pregnant_" again? I'd probably loose it, knowing my luck and start again in some kind of cycle.

He continued to stroke my cheek. "I know, Bella love - he's wanted to make you a baby for so long." I giggled quietly. I needed to cheer up. I kissed him once more.

"Thank you Edward. Let's go to sleep and forget this for now."

He carried me to our bedroom and started stripping to his boxers. I got out of my clothes, stepped in the shower, washed my hair quickly and changed into my favourite bright blue nightdress.

It was short and sexy to Edward and he liked to know it was really me he was sleeping next to at night. He used to sleep badly when we first moved it, paranoid he'd hear _something. _

So I wore the nightdress to bed. It was silky and if he woke up, he'd feel about and feel my nightdress, knowing it was me and relaxed.

He stopped doing it now, but I wore it just in case. He used to wake me up when I had important meetings the next morning, never making me a happy bunny.

I came out of the en suite to find him, in bed and waiting for me. I snuggled into bed - crawled over to him and rested myself against his glorious, muscular chest. He stroked my hair and before we knew it, we were both sound asleep.


	2. Coping

Why Edward? Why?

Chapter 2: Coping

I woke up slowly the next morning. Edward had already gone to work, leaving me asleep.

I rolled over and gazed at his empty side of the bed. I sighed - at this time in the morning, after a night like last night, I just wanted to cry all over again.

I never managed as I was usually too tired. But when Edward was here, he'd hold me close and whisper to me that it wasn't my fault and we could "try again sometime when your body sorts itself out." As If he'd know I'd want the treatment - he'd left a note behind. I picked it up and read it:

_Bella, love_

_don't worry about last night. For some weird reason, I felt the familiar sense of déjà vu before the phone call. I'll call you around __half past eight__ to see how you are. Don't worry love, it's a natural thing. They haven't said your infertile which means you'll be alright. I hope you slept well. You were so peaceful when I left this morning.  
I love you_

_Edward xx_

I got changed and put the note inside my pocket; I'd need it later to remind myself of it.

I was such a huge baby. I really wanted a little baby to hold and care for - to help grow up, to reach goals in life, to get married like Edward and I did, have children and carry along our family. It looked like I was the dead end stop and I hated it. I was letting Edward down. He was the only one of his brothers who were married and hadn't had kids. Heck, even Rosalie had become pregnant before me and the doctors grew scared she was infertile. I couldn't be infertile.

The thought of my body not coping with a baby inside me was heartbreaking and soul-destroying.

I had my normal fat-free yoghurt and toast when I was in the kitchen. It was nearly half past eight. I was preparing myself for the phone call. In this situation, I would properly cry. I was determined to move on this time and not show it to Edward. Which was hard as we lived in the same apartment.

_Ring, Ring, Ring!_

I jumped at the noise of the phone and picked it up:

_"Hello Bella, love. Did you sleep well?" _He asked. I gulped.

"Urm yeah good, I suppose, no bad dreams - so much be an improvement."

_"I remember when you used to wake up screaming and tossing. It wasn't good."_

"Yeah well I remember the TIMES you woke me up IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT to tell me there was a ghost in the closet!"

_"Urmm moving on... I got good news!"_

I tensed - good news? I wished we'd had good news and the baby was still alive inside me.

_"I got a raise!"_

"Really? How Edward?"

_"Well, we have a new boss - Tanya Denali and she'd decided to give us all a different pay roll which is twice then before!"_

"Great" I said - no enthusiasm. He sensed that.

_"Bella? What's the matter?"_

I gulped again. Surely he'd remembered by now?

"I have to go to the hospital and have...my baby removed and...stuff" I stuttered.

There was a silence until:

_"Bella - what time is your appointment?" _he demanded.

"Half past one, Edward"

_"I'll see you there. I don't want you to go alone."_

"Thanks Edward. I wasn't sure if I had to ask you. You wouldn't really want to see...it would you?"

_"Bella - your my wife. I'm supporting you through the rough time. I need to be paying attention to our wedding vows."_

_Oh heck. What did he mean "pay more attention to our wedding vows"?_

"Urmm ok. I need to get ready to go out in a minute Edward, see you later?"

_"Ok, love. I love you."_

"I love you too Edward. Bye."

_"Bye"_

The phone hung up and I put it back on the handset. I was actually quite scared about the appointment now as I'd just remembered on the spot. I jumped about a foot in the air when the phone rung again. I answered it:

"Hello?"

"_Heeey! Belly! How's the new future mommy?" _Curse you Alice.

"I'm...not too good."

_"Why?" _she sounded unhappy.

"I'm not saying anything until we see you guys this evening but I feel a bit sick. Talk later?"

_"Urmm,, ok BellaBarbieMom!"_

I glared at the phone. What were we going to say to them? Maybe Carlisle already knew. He was a doctor at the hospital like Edward and he could easily access the file.

I panicked and rung Edward. He answered on the third beep.

_"Bella? What's wrong?"_

"Make sure you close or hide our file. Alice just called me. Don't allow him to read what's happened ok?" I sounded worse than I felt.

_"Bella - he isn't going to pry. I'll do as you say as long as you promise to go to bed - you sound awful."_

"Yes, yes! Now have you got that?"

_"I'm walking to the nurse station as we speak, love. calm down and go to bed."_

"Ok, I love you."

_"Love you too Bella. Bye."_

The phone goes dead and I wander back to bed. I need to sleep more.

* * *

I pull into the hospital car park - where I spotted Edward marching over.

I gulped and get out. He comes to me and gives me a kiss. Not a normal kiss, just another soothing kiss. It helps. He pulls back and mock glares at me. "You never did sleep _did you_? You cleaned the house _instead_."

How the hell did he know that? Ok I've been married to him for nearly 7 years but he knows me so well. I went to bed but couldn't sleep. So I ended up cleaning up the house.

I replied coolly "I had a half an hour nap before coming here, thank you very much!"

He smiled and embraced me. I snuggled into him, savouring his protective charm. I look back at him and he's looking back at me. I lifted my key in the air and locked the car.

"Can we get it over and down with?" I asked and he held my hand, walking me towards the hospital doors. He takes me to the maternity ward and unfortunately we had to walk past the nursery.

I turn the corner and see all of the little cots are full of little babies. I smiled at them, ignoring the crushing in my heart. _Why couldn't I get one?_

Edward directs me to my room. Dr Irina is already in there and her eyes are full of pity.

"_I'm really sorry_ Mr and Mrs Cullen but nature will turn its course until it feels ready." I starred at her. What the fuck was she on about? Edward tugged my arm and helped me get changed. I sit down in the chair and cover up with my sheet.

I closed my eyes and tired not to think bad thoughts. Edward held my hand the whole way through and kissed my temple when it came out.

I caught a glimpse of it. It was so _small_. I felt so _cruel_ - _my body had killed it_. I felt tears well up and run down my cheeks.

Edward put his arm round my shoulders and kept whispering that it was alright and _not my fault_.

* * *

Half an hour later - I was in my car, without Edward - he still needed to be at work but promised that he'd meet me at his parents house around half past six.

I hovered in the car in the Morison's car park. I badly needed shopping but I was paranoid that everybody knew and that I'd break down again. I pulled myself together and got out of the car.

I walked down the aisles, grabbing necessary items and things on sale. Then I went past the baby unit. I stopped, took another look and immediately marched over to the Pharmacy.

"How may I help you?" the supervisor asked me.

I was nervous but tired not to show it. "Where are your pregnancy tests?"

She smiled but showed me where. There were about 5 different types. I never took pregnancy tests before, strangely enough.

I'd start throwing up and Edward would rush me to the hospital and there it would be confirmed.

"How do you tell the differences between them? I mean...which ones are most…_accurate_?" I asked and she blushed pink.

"In my own personal experience - I'd choose this one." she picked up and a dark turquoise packet which read **_'PregnantOrNot?'_**

"The name's a bit harsh isn't it?" I asked.

She nodded. "But you did ask for most _accurate_. I'd recommend this one. I've had a daughter in the past and this was how I found out. These others ones have a _'maybe'_ option and this was straight down to earth _'yes_ or _'no_." I nodded. _True._

"I'll take 3 of them, just in case, y'know." she nodded her head. She walked me back over to her till and scanned the items into it.

"That'll be $12 please." She said. I dug out my purse and handed her the money. She wrapped the tests into a carrier bag and asked "Not meaning to be rude or anything, but do you think your expecting?"

I held back my tears. It wasn't her fault. Anybody would ask that. "Urmm no. I _was_ pregnant but my body seems to be ..._rejecting_ babies. I've just come from an appointment where I had to give birth to a dead foetus." She looked pitiful.

"Sorry. But best luck for next time. It mostly happens with stress and worry m'aame."

I raised my head. "Oh yeah?" The doctors had never explained this to me.

"Well like I said, I was in your position, My body rejected so many little things and I realised it was stress and worry, _mostly_. My marriage was on he rocks and my husband kept yelling at me, saying I was useful - it was _my fault_, not my body's. Then he calmed down and I gave birth to my 2 year old child." She smiled at the end. Not a smug child, just an encouraging one. I nodded.

"I might take you up on that. Thanks." She smiled again. I read her name badge. _'Shelly'_ she was called. I continued my shopping with higher hopes.

Maybe if me and Edward stopped the worry and stress, in nine months time, we could be having a baby. My marriage wasn't on the rocks but it was strained, too much tension in the air when we mentioned kids.

* * *

I drove up to the Cullens house and got out.

I walked confidently to the door. Alice opened it as soon as I knocked. "_Bella_! And Belly's baby!" I pushed her of me.

"Alice - I'm here to tell you something! Stop talking to my belly please." she looked unhappy again.

"Ok" and she walked into the living room.

Edward was already there but as soon as he saw me, he jumped up and gave me a hug.

"Have you said anything?" I asked. He shook his head.

"I'll tell them" I muttered and turned round. Everyone went quiet and starred at us.

Alice seemed to be glaring at Edward for keeping something from her.

"As you guys, know - Edward and I were given the all clear on the baby front about a week ago." Esme and Carlisle knew something was up.

Carlisle was gazing at my belly. My hands weren't there. Last week, I'd been covering up my belly - paranoid someone would steal my baby. But this was a dead give-away for Carlisle. I felt the tears in my eyes.

"And last night - we got our test results back." I continued.

Not allowing my tears to give me away. Everybody was tense. Edward hand was tighter round my waist.

"And we have lost our baby. I had to pass _him_ through this morning." I whispered - finally allowing the tears to come through.

Everyone seemed in shock.

Alice looked guilty. She understood why I'd told her to get of my baby belly. It was because there was _no longer_ a baby in my belly.

Esme was the first to move - her eyes were crying too, as was Carlisle's.

They both wrapped Edward and I into a big hug. Edward got hugged by his father while Esme allowed me to cling to her - while I repeated the crying Edward and I had shared last night.


	3. Scared

Why Edward? Why?

Chapter 3: Scared

It had been another _agonizing_ few days since we told Edward's parents.

I hadn't bothered with my parents. They wouldn't really care after all. I really thought I should get my act together. I was tired of being depressed all the time.

Edward and I decided that while we were on the _'safe'_ side when it came to bedtime. I decided to go back on the pill and he sorted himself out. We still had a few more tests at the hospital but they said, like the other day and what Edward had said was that something wasn't _ready_ in my body to conceive a child.

I didn't feel like I could wait at all. I didn't want to wait. I wanted my child _NOW_.

Edward didn't like the idea of even more testing but he only did it because I was desperate. I was being so greedy. It wasn't my fault.

Dr Irina explained that I'd just miscarriage and my body was upset that I'd lost the baby as well. "These are just nature's signs that you need to develop just a bit more until your ready? Have you ever had tests on _chlamydia_?"

I jumped out of the plastic seat, which fell over backwards.

_Please I think I preferred the other option._

Edward nodded "I think we should Bella. It might be just _that_."

_What?_ _Was he mad?_

"But that'll be needles and everything! I don't like that idea! The idea that Chlamydia is the reason I _won't have children_! _Why?"_

My tears were running down my cheeks and I ran out of the room. I ran out into the hall. I heard Edward and Dr Irina calling after me.

I legged it down the corridor and out into the reception area. I continued running until I was in the car. I unlocked it with a beep, got inside and stopped. I banged my head onto the steering wheel.

_Why was life so cruel on **me**?_ That just scared the hell out me.

I heard a knock on the door but I refused to meet his eyes, full of disappointment and embarrassment. I started to sob uncontrollable. I heard another knocking on the door.

"_Bella_ - unlock the door" Edward muttered from outside.

I didn't hear him. I just sat there crying. Eventfully Edward realised I hadn't locked the door and opened it. I still had my head on the steering wheel in my arms.

I was so depressed and embarrassing, _why_ did Edward put up with me?

I asked it aloud. "Why don't you leave me?" I sobbed. "_Anyone_ would of gotton tired of me by _now_!"

He looked at me. I didn't meet his gaze. The pressure and fright that all this was my fault, not his was horrific.

I didn't want to do anything but become and stay pregnant. I wanted to experience the whole pregnancy lark but my body was letting me down. _I wasn't ready_.

And that upset me all the more. I was letting Edward down and that upset me the most. He'd married me and we were both excited at the thought of a baby.

"I will _never _leave you Bella" he whispered, crouching down and looking up at me.

I moved my eyes to meet his. I saw no lie in them. He continued to gaze at me until my sobs lessened down. I was still hiccupping.

"Why - _why oh why_ - does it have to be _me_? Has to be us, _chlamydia_?" Edward put his arm around my shoulder,

"I don't know, love - we have to fight it and put the work in. If we don't then we could be wasting precious time. Should we go back in and take the test?" I looked at him.

"I'm scared that it'll be positive." I croaked.

"Bella - we have to know the truth on what's happening. We _can't do_ that if you don't cooperate with us, with me." He whispered again.

I nodded. "Ok" I said in a quiet voice and got up again. This was gunna be embarrassing.

We walked back into the doors and I was once again redirected to our previous room. Dr Irina was still there, not at all angry, embarrassed or annoyed.

She looked up when we entered. She carried on like nothing had happened. " So Mrs Cullen - would you like to take a test?" she seemed to force the yes out of me.

"Ok" I whispered again. Edward squeezed my hand.

"It's very simple" she explained. She got up and handed me a small beaker_. Huh?_

"Just go to the toilets down the hall - urinate into the pot and bring it back." I nodded.

Then I had an idea. "Edward has to test as well." I said, making Edward turn to me, mock glaring.

Dr Irina nodded "So he should" and handed him a beaker.

He rolled his eyes and chased me from the room.

He turned to me outside the _'Ladies'_. He gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

"Feeling better?" he asked.

"I hope you're safe" I whispered back.

I knew it was me and me only. "Bella - I could be the problem as well." I shook my head.

"I got pregnant before - not your fault unless your buddies don't get to my egg. And you did, so I'm to blame." I didn't cry - _shock horror._

He gave me another kiss and walked into the _'Mens'_.

I went inside the toilets, into a cubical and got a urine sample. I came out, washed my hands and walked back down the hall way - pee in one hand and my other reaching for the doorknob.

Dr Irina looked up when I came in. Edward's sample was on the counter (hmm _attractive_) and I put mine next to his.

"So everything is in order. We will send these to the laboratory and they should take around 10-14 days until your results come back."

I nodded. Edward came over to me. "Come on, let's go home, love. Relax, then we find out."

I nodded again. We walked out of the hospital to the car; inside I got and drove home - still feeling numb and empty. My fate rested on a pot of my own piss. Interesting...and _gross_.


	4. Numb

Why Edward? Why?

Chapter 4: Numb

The following week passed very slowly. I was always so quiet around the house that Edward had actually called me a ghost once.

He was as tense as I was, the fact that I'd cornered on him, making him do the test _as well_, made us both more nervous. But truth be told - I would be relieved if it _wasn't_ just me.

I was starting to research Chlamydia as I didn't know much about it. Edward did but it was sketchy.

He only knew that it was a sexual transmitted infection (STI) and caused by a tiny bacterium, Chlamydia trachomatis. You get with no symptoms at all. Unless if you count the pain in mild lower abdominal.

I then started to read about it, I honestly felt I was silly doing so but I continued:

_In some women chlamydia can cause pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), also know as pelvic infection. It can damage the Fallopian tubes that carry eggs from the ovaries to the womb. The tubes may stop working properly and can become completely blocked._

Oh _fuck_. Please god, don't say I have that. If so, I wouldn't get kids, and the operations is really complex. Even Edward, maybe _Carlisle__'s_ medical expertise. I carried on reading:

_Chlamydia is the most common preventable cause of infertility in women. When the Fallopian tubes are blocked, no pregnancy is possible naturally. One option is IVF (in-vitro fertilisation), but availability on the NHS is patchy and has variable success rates. Women with damaged tubes do occasionally fall pregnant, but there is an increased risk of the pregnancy developing in the tubes rather than the womb. This is called an ectopic pregnancy. The tube can split apart causing serious pain and bleeding. This is an emergency, because the bleeding can be life threatening. _

I stopped reading and closed my laptop. This was getting way-too scary.

I couldn't even move my arm to grab my cup of tea. Edward was sitting on the sofa across the room. He looked up just in time to sprint across the room and catch me.

I blinked and looked up at him. "Bella - can you please relax, we haven't been able to relax because of the child worry. Why not we go out and have a bit of fun?"

I gazed at him and nodded.

He put me up; I grabbed my chair, got up and tucked it in. Edward had fetched me my coat and bag. I got them on and walked into Edward's Volvo.

He'd had it for years, ever since I met him in junior year. He'd always cared for me, even when I had a strop with him and hurt myself.

He'd forgotten about lovey-dovey stuff and cared for me. I had to be in bed for 3 weeks and we never got bored. He was always looking forward to seeing me, not as his girlfriend but as a best friend. We'd sort of forgotten about the fall-out and I'd ended up kissing him when he's bought me a gold necklace, which I still had.

I touched the necklace, still round my neck and sighed. How had my life gone downhill? I missed my parent's comfort and support. When my mother had miscarriage - as she and Charlie were trying again for kids when I was about 14, I always comforted her.

But then I would cry my grief of the bay and she'd cheer me up. I missed the way they looked after me, the way that Charlie would get me a nice piece of cheesecake or just give me a big hug.

* * *

We spent the day at the mall - seeing as Edward knows I enjoy casual shopping. His sister, Alice had always made me wear revealing _costumes_ to dazzle Edward. She was my best friend and wanted me and Edward to be together.

He let me shop for my clothes but I could have sworn he hinted at getting something to help us in the bedroom department. I sighed heavily.

That was going to have to get some used to.

I bought something _sexy _if you call it that.

It was in the underwear place so I guessed so. It was just a simple white and lacy bra and pants. They was _no way_, I was going deeper than that.

Alice would but not me. Edward enjoyed the lingerie but if he knew I felt like a complete _twat_ in it, then he wouldn't tease me.

We ended our shopping; surprisingly Edward had bought a few new suits for work. If I was correct, he had at least 4 suits in the wardrobe and they were all quite new as it was. I had bought him at least 3 of those suits.

He sensed I was unhappy. "Were my suits _shit_ or something?" I asked as he drove us to the restaurant.

He turned confused to me "No, but I thought while I was out, I'd buy some more just in case." I raised my eyebrows but didn't complain further.

We went to the restaurant and I actually cheered up slightly. I laughed when Edward walked into the ladies with me, forgetting we weren't at home together and all the girls inside screamed when he did.

I couldn't sit through lunch, I really tied to not laugh and to keep a straight face.

I was nearly there until a little 9 year old girl walked over and said "You're the weird man who went into the toilets!"

I doubled up, laughing. Edward's face was like a tomato. The girl had run away when I looked up, tears in my eyes.

Edward was looking at me, a slight smile on his face. "Have you cheered up?" he asked.

I nodded. The rest of lunch went well. When we left and walked over to the car, Edward put his arm round my waist.

"Let's go home and unwind shall we?" hiding the glint in his eye.

I smiled slightly. "Ok" I whispered and kissed him on the lips.

He seemed keen and I hugged him closer when he pulled away. "I'm sorry for being mopping, Edward. It's not fair on you, you must be getting slightly annoyed at me - I understand but don't leave me."

He mock glared at me. "Bella - for _fucks_ sake, you're my wife and I love you. A husband supports his wife, and a wife is meant to be looked after. I will never ever cheat, leave or abandon you at all. I'm not tired of you, just this stupid problem we have. Remember that, love ok?"

I nodded silently at him. We got into the car and we drove home, hopefully the numb feeling would go away soon. We had 3 days until the tests were due back.


	5. Smug

Why Edward? Why?

Chapter 5: Smug

When we got home, I decided that I'd cook dinner.

I hadn't actually cooked a meal properly since the day of the bad test results coming back.

I decided that as Spaghetti Bolognese was Edward's favourite - then Spaghetti Bolognese it was. I got changed as well. Edward had locked himself away in his study and seeing as this was meant to be a relaxing night, I'd dress relaxed and alluring.

But there again, he calls me beautiful all the time.

I changed out of my jeans and black t-shirt and changed into another item I'd bought this afternoon.

When Edward had been busy buying suits, leaving me to do my business in the underwear bit, I'd spotted a dark midnight blue nightdress.

It went down to my thighs and was low cut. I knew how his favourite colour on me sent him crazy so I wrapped myself up in my cream dressing grown.

It was half past nine, when I called Edward for dinner. I had my back turned, working at the stove - trying not to drop the _very very _hot plate while splashing the Bolognese sauce onto his plate.

I grated his parmesan cheese onto for him as always and served it to him. I grabbed mine, turned the cooker off and sat down with him.

"You seemed to have relaxed" he noted, taking a bite and sauce dripping off his chin.

"God, Edward - that was the first bite and already you acting like a five-year old!" I mock scolded.

He grinned, taking my answer as a _'yes'_. We were quiet for a few more minutes, until both of our plates were empty. I picked his and mine up and took them to the sink.

Edward put down his glass. "Would you care for more wine, Mr. Cullen?" I asked seductively.

"Yes dear." He winked.

I poured his wine and refilled mine as well. _Was this a good way to start things off?_

By getting pissed out of our heads? I didn't think having alcohol in my system was a good idea. I stopped pouring mine and put the wine bottle down.

_Maybe not_, I thought. Edward didn't notice, gulping down his wine and smiling at me.

"How pissed are you?" I asked. He shrugged. "Urmm, I've only had two glasses. Not much." I nodded. Ok, not _too_ drunk then. _Was my plan such a good idea after all?_

No, I remembered, I was gunna get _fucking_ stick to it. Just because we may have Chlamydia didn't mean I was to halt our sex life. Thankfully - Edward started.

"Is there desert?" he asked.

I smiled slyly back at him. "Well...there was going to be desert, only I'm not too sure what to get you. I was going to get you a nice richly, creamy cheesecake with clotted cream..."

I paused for dramatic effect. He seemed to be listening carefully. I got up and walked behind him.

I leant down and whispered into his ear "...but then I knew what you prefer best for desert." and I leaned down and kissed him.

He responded quickly and held me there, leaning over his head and his lips pressed against mine.

I pulled away and walked, waggling my hips slightly and dropped my dressing gown. It fell to the ground and I could have sworn I heard his mouth pop. I turned round to see his eyes drop open.

I then started to stalk forward towards him and ran my fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes. I let go of him and walked quickly and quietly away, towards the bedroom.

He caught me from behind, so I ended up in his arms. "..But you know I'd prefer my wife than any other desert, don't you?" he whispered, the sparkle in his eyes.

I nodded and closed my eyes as he bent his head and seemed to sooth me again, his lips doing all their talking. He carried me to the bedroom, lowering me quickly to the bed, still kissing fiercely.

I grabbed his shirt, unbuttoned it quickly and threw it off him.

I was greeted by the sight of his muscular chest. I pulled my finger sin and out of his lines on his heaving chest, outlining all his six-pack. I slid my finger down so it tugged at his jeans. From then on, we knew what to do.

* * *

I woke up the next morning, still entwined round Edward's sleeping form.

I brushed my hair out of my face. Last night had been a good night, not the sex part but the way, I'd felt. I'd had a plan, kept to the plan and carried it through perfectly.

I heard Edward move in the bedcovers next to me. I twisted my head back and met his shinning emerald eyes. He moved his arms closely around me, making his hold on me tighter.

"You realise you have the world's smuggest grin all over you r face, y'know that?" he muttered, blushing slightly - a rare thing for him.

I grinned wider. "Yeeah!" I said, acting like a 4-year old. He kissed my forehead. "That's the longest time you've ad a grin on your face, recently Bella. It's nice."

I snuggled my head into his head. "Yeah" I breathed out, not being childish. "But that'll go; I won't be surprised if I had Chlamydia if I was honest. I can't think of what else. I don't get why the doctor's didn't tell us at first."

He thought for a moment "They don't know. They are as clueless as we are until they have samples to test. They should be done today. Today is the 15th day." I shuddered. I had to face it soon. He pulled me close and we were silent.

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

The bedside table phone rang, making me jump. I reached out to get it and then stopped. Edward sensed how I was feeling. He reached out instead and answered the phone. I waited nervously as Edward spoke calmly into the phone.

"Yes, I wouldn't want to be told the results over the phone Dr. Irina."

*pause*

"Ok then, half eleven. See you then." and he hung up the phone, plopping it back into the handset.

"The results are in?" I whispered, daring not to move. He nodded, clutching me tighter. "The results are in" he confirmed. _Shit._


	6. Results

Why Edward? Why?

Chapter 6: Results

Edward got up and had a shower after the phone call. I lay in the empty bed sheets, clutching the white fabric, while I tried desperately _not _to think about the bad news.

I mean, I'd _already_ accepted that it made sense and ect, but we'd had sex. I'd forgotten that every time you do it, with the infection, you pass it on. Oh _shit_. My heart raced and the guilt filled me. Oh _noooo_. This was awful.

_What if I'd given it to him yesterday?_ _What if I'd passed it to him **before**?_

I eventually got up and dressed in my deep cream white summer dress. It was a sunny day and this seemed the best to wear.

It was early summer and already the sun was shining and the temperature had scored higher than last week. I was rubbing in some sun-tan lotion when Edward walked out of the bathroom.

He only had a towel round his waist. Despite that I'm used to it and all, it was still distracting. I hadn't seen a body that was distracting like his was.

It mad me sad sometimes. But I was seriously annoyed of being depressed all the time.

I continued rubbing the lotion into my skin while Edward leaned against the doorpost to our en suite. He didn't move while I rubbed the stuff up my arms, down my legs and round my face and neck.

I grabbed my iPod, fluffed up my hair and whipped my sunglasses on. I turned on the spot, walking out of the bedroom while saying to him "Hurry it up sweetie. Someone's gotta get down to business."

He didn't move or say anything.

I walked out of the apartment a few minutes later after chewing through a cereal bar but I felt sick afterwards. When I walked out of the apartment, the sun seemed 10 times hotter than it was inside.

I was glad I put sun-tan lotion on. Hopefully if I was _lucky_ - I'd tan - _shock horror_. I decided not to risk the Ford Focus and got our brand new limited edition Mazda MX-5 convertible in dark midnight blue.

I plugged my iPod into the car's speakers as Edward walked out of the building, in casual jeans and a white button up shirt. He of course had to wear my favourite glasses on him.

He knows that I go crazy when he wears them but I pretended to be blind today.

He came to a stop in front of the car and peaked from under his glasses. I pressed a button and the whole roof came down, revealing myself to everything.

He came to my side, gave me a kiss and walked round to the passenger side. I pressed _'Play'_ and Lady Gaga - _'Summer boy_' came through the speakers.

I couldn't help singing along as I drove out of the lot towards the hospital.

_No where yah were goin no where fast  
Maybe this time Ill be yours youll be mine  
C-C-C Crazy get your ass in my bed  
Baby youll be just my summer boyfriend, summer boy_

_Lets get lost, you can take me home  
Somewhere nice we can be alone  
__Bikini__ tops comin o-o-off  
Dont be sad when the sun goes down  
Youll wake up and Im not around  
Ive got to go oh oh oh oh  
We'll still have the summer after all_

_Sometimes you might start a fight  
But Im happy, pretending were alright  
Sunglasses, cover up my green eyes  
My martini glistens yeah  
While checking out other guys  
Summer boys_

_Hey there summerboy  
Lets go for a drive  
Take me for a ride  
Never gonna close our eyes  
Hey there summer boy  
Im a busy girl  
Dont have too much time  
Hurry up before I change my mind  
Hey there summerboy  
Im taking off my heels  
Lets go for a run  
Have a little summer fun  
Have a little summer fun  
Summer boy_

_Hey there summerboy  
Lets go for a drive  
Take me for a ride  
Never gonna close our eyes  
Hey there summer boy  
Im a busy girl  
Dont have too much time  
Hurry up before I change my mind  
Hey there summerboy  
Im taking off my heels  
Lets go for a run  
Have a little summer fun  
Have a little summer fun  
Summer boy_

_Hey there summerboy  
Lets go for a drive  
Take me for a ride  
Never gonna close our eyes  
Hey there summer boy  
Im a busy girl  
Dont have too much time  
Hurry up before I change my mind  
Hey there summerboy  
Im taking off my heels  
Lets go for a run  
Have a little summer fun  
Have a little summer fun  
Summer boy_

_I have got my, summer, summerboy  
I have got my, summer, summerboy_

Edward actually applauded me when I finished. We'd arrived into the hospital car park. I got out of the car, closing the roof as I did, turning off my music and car. I pulled my glasses further up my nose I walked hand-in-hand with Edward. I leaned against him as we walked into reception and waited for Dr. Irina. She came in and motioned for us to follow. We came into the room where she was and sat down.

Edward gripped my hand very tightly and Dr Irina turned to us. She seemed sombre. I knew what she was going to say before she actually said it.

"I'm very sorry to say this Mr and Mrs Cullen...but you both have traces of Chlamydia in both of your urine samples." I starred at the board behind her.

I'd _fucking_ passed my Chlamydia onto my husband. I was an _awful wife_.

I was _never going to be forgiven_. I turned to Edward, he seemed in shock.

"I'm so sorry Edward. It's all my fault." and I knew it.


	7. Brief Guilt

Why Edward? Why?

Chapter 7: Brief Guilt

The guilt felt like gooey cheese, in my gut - clawing at my insides. I had passed the awful infection onto my husband. _Some wife_, I was. Dr. Irina was still talking.

Edward hadn't said a word. He had shaken his head at my words and squeezed my hand tighter. My guilt was clawing away at me.

"Is there anyway...that you could find out who had ... had it first?"

She raised her eyebrows and a frown appeared on her face. But she continued all the same - "Well, yes there is. A new form of medicine has been admitted and we tested it on your urine samples, seeing as its part of the procedure -" She drew a piece of paper with notes on it from the big file in her arms and scanned it.

Edward was holding my hand so tight; I was scared he was going to squeeze it off. I looked at him, confused.

He looked like...he was _hiding _something. What _was _that something?

I narrowed my eyes, the tension so thick, I could of cut it with my knife.

Dr. Irina furrowed her brow and counted on her fingers, surely she could count.

"Give me a second please." she muttered, dropped the file and took her piece of paper with her.

She had been out the room for five seconds when I walked over to the file and reached out for it.

I felt a hand stop me. "What are you doing?" Edward hissed.

I glared coldly back "It has my name on it, I'd like to know how much of a pathetic woman, they're making me look. Let go of me Edward." he released me. I glanced down at the file and saw the top sheet.

**_Name(s):_**_ Dr/Mr. Edward Anthony Cullen **& **Mrs. Isabella Marie Cullen._

**_Age(s): _**_21 **& **20_

**_Case Study: _**_Chlamydia** & **Baby Issues_

What the hell? "I'm sorry, but what the fuck, does "_Baby Issues_" come into our freaking tests?" I seethed. I glanced at Edward's name. "Your "_Dr/Mr. Edward Anthony Cullen_"." I noted.

He seemed to nod. I glanced down again.

"Why are our ages here?" I asked.

"Just normal hospital procedure. Most of the files, they main documents contain basic things." I continued reading the sheet as he spoke:

**_Isabella Marie Swan_**

**_D.O.B: _**_September 13th 1987_

**_Spouse(s): _**_Mr**/**Dr Edward Anthony Cullen_

**_Parents: _**_Charlie Swan **&** Renee Dwyer_

This information made no sense to me. Was I _really _still the same person, who at the age of 15 fallen head over heels for the man before me? The one who embarrassed herself _completely_, trying to get him to notice her? The sweet innocent girl who was as described as her mother: a little _angel. _

I couldn't see myself as a little child or teenager anymore. My memories seemed to mean nothing.

I turned to Edward. I didn't deserve him. But..._something_ made me feel un-easy about him. I was sure he was hiding something from me.

And I was going to find out: if it was bad - he wouldn't comfort me anymore and would push me away. That's what I deserved - _wasn't it?_

I heard footsteps toward our room. Dropping the file on the desk, I hurried back to my plastic chair next to Edward and he picked up my hand and rubbed smoothing circles on it.

The door squeaked as Dr. Irina came back in, still with a slightly confused look on her face.

"Sorry about that...I'm relatively new to this scheme as it's a new procedure. I can confirm now that it was _Edward _who had Chlamydia **first**."


	8. Shocked

Why Edward? Why?

Chapter 8: Shocked

I froze, how one earth was it possible for Edward to have it? I'd had sex before - but only with Jacob. And that was _years _ago - he was my best friend, understood how I felt about Edward.

We both went a nightclub and spent the night having sex. But then about a week after that, I'd found out that Edward had dumped Jessica, his ex-girlfriend - who he _hadn't _had sex with. Had he been lying to me?

It was possible. But he'd _never_ lied to me - huge serious lies since we got married. If had had indeed had sex with her beforehand and caught the Chlamydia first, then I'd be cool with it.

You can have it for ages and have no symptoms. Edward was gazing at Dr. Irina listening to her every word. He seemed too looking strained. I grabbed his hand and he snapped his head to me, his gaze guilty. I squeezed his hand, my guilt had disappeared, I was just a bit shocked, that's all and relieved it _wasn't just me_.

Dr. Irina gave me some antibiotics. She explained that there are two types - one was called Azithromycin and was a single dosage which I had once a week. The other which made me feel more confident was Doxycycline and this I had to take 2 per day for a week.

I decided on the second one, her handing me a box with the pills in it. Edward's procedure was the same as mine. His eyes were strained and I knew he wanted to go home.

When we got home, he got out the car and stormed upstairs while I parked the Mazda in the garage. I beep-locked it and walked inside. I walked through the front door and dumped my handbag on the table. Edward wasn't in the lounge. I walked to the bedroom.

He was in there, lying on his front, head on the pillows, in his arms. I heard him crying which was heart-breaking. I hated him crying, it was me who was the cry baby.

I walked slowly towards him and sat down beside him on the bed. I put both my arms round him - making him cry possibly harder.

"Edward -" I whispered quietly. "- if you had sex with Jessica all those years ago, not telling me then I'm not angry. You didn't know that she didn't give you anything." He started to ease his sobs. I ran a hand through his spiky hair, onto his forehead and he looked up. He saw my honest face and more tears escaped his eyelids. I wiped my finger under his eyes, removing his tears and smiled warmly.

"I don't deserve you at all do I, Bella?" he croaked, slow last tears from his eyes, creeping down his face. I smiled. "Thank you - but I married you - and the vows clearly state 'Isabella Marie Swan - do you take Edward Anthony Cullen to be your lawfully wedded husband, and you vow to love him and care for him as long as you both shall live?'"

I looked down at him again, "That's why I said 'I do' to care and look after you. You do that to me plenty of times these past weeks. Thank you for helping me like I'm helping you." He grinned and sat up. He learnt into me and snuggled into me. I brought my arms so they went round him completely.

Then I heard the telephone ringing. I sighed, Edward pulled away and I got up to the lounge, grabbed the phone and jerked it to my ear: "Hello?

_"Bella? Is everything ok there? Because me and Jasper want to come round to see you." _I heard Alice ask me. I sighed.

"Yes you guys can come round I suppose." I glanced at the clock. It was half past one. "Have you eaten?"

_"No we haven't - we were going to suggest we take you guys out."_

I shuddered. "Urm Edward isn't feeling that great and I don't think he wants to go out. You guys come here and I'll make lunch. Ok?"

_"Ok, Belly! See you around two?"_

I laughed at her enthusiasm. "Ok then Alice, see you later." and I hung up.

Edward walked out of the bedroom, his face dripping with water and a towel round his shoulders. I walked over to him and gave him a hug.

"Go have a shower sweetheart, Alii and Jazz are coming round in half an hour." He put his arms round my back and nuzzled my neck, making me giggle.

"Ok, love." I went on my tip-toes and kissed him deeply. He responds and wove his hands through my hair.

When we broke apart, I laughed at Edward's flushed face - pushing him towards the bathroom. "Get in the shower, you bad boy!" I scolded and walked out of the room. I heard the door click and Edward walked out, no top on and a huge grin on his face. I narrowed my eyes playfully as he picked me up and hugged me closer.

"Sweetie, as much as I'd love to be with you all the time, but two things stop us." He stopped, looking at me confused.

"First -" I stared "- is the medicine thing. We cannot have any sex until we're clean, ok?" He nodded. "Secondly - we have to get ready for your brother and sister to come over. The tomato soup won't cook itself and neither will you get clean that way."

He chuckled and put me down, kissing my forehead and walked off to the bathroom. I laughed myself and went to the kitchen - hopefully I'd stay in this good mood. It was debatable.


	9. Guests

Why Edward? Why?

Chapter 9: Guests 

I made the tomato soup and when Edward walked out of the shower, his green shirt and jeans back on, I pulled him into another hug. He leaned into me and we stayed like that for a while. We didn't notice the time when I recognized the sound of Jasper's moped.

I glanced out of the window. Sure enough, Jasper was helping Alice of the back of his motor-bike and started walking up the steps to the building.

The soup was piping hot - a test which Edward proved when he stuck his finger in it when I pulled away from the window. All I heard was a _"fuck! That's hot!" _I laughed when I went round the corner to find an Edward swearing at his thumb. I went over to him, turned the cold tap on, kissed his thumb as I did, and pulled it under the tap, instructing him to stay there.

I was just pouring the soup into the soup dishes when the buzzer went off. Edward clutched the dishcloth onto his burn and went to the buzzer: "Who is it?" he asked into the microphone. _"Whoo do you think it is you plonker!" _I heard Alice scream into the mouthpiece.

He cringed away and I chuckled again. Pushing the _'unlock'_ button downstairs I said "Sorry Alii - Edward's a bit well _y'know_.." I heard her laugh and the door close behind them.

A few minutes later there was a loud knock on the door. I opened the door and saw Alice with Jasper's arm wrapped round her.

"Hey Bella!" Alice squealed - squeezing me into a tight hug. I laugh and hug Jasper. Edward's arms retrieved me as soon as I turn to walk into the kitchen.

"Guys - can you wait in the lounge for a minute - I need a word with Bella."

They nodded and he dragged me into the kitchen. He leans against the counter as I sliced the bread for the soups, buttering them and arranging them on the plates.

"Bella - when do we need to take the pills? Before or after eating."

I checked the box. "_Before eating with a glass of water_." I read of the case.

I opened my packet and Edward did the same. I grabbed two glasses, filled them with water and handed one to him. We each had one pill each and looked at each other.

"On the count of three" I say. "One...Two..._THREE_!" and we swigged our heads back, swallowed the tablets and water. I looked at Edward and he was coughing.

"A bit of water went the wrong way." he coughs. I put my arms on his chest from behind and patted his back. Nothing flew out of his mouth but he stopped coughing.

Alice and Jasper come in and I put their food in front of them. "Bella - you didn't have to make us eat here and you do all the work!" she cooed.

Edward looked confused. "You weren't going to take us out?" Alice nodded. "But you weren't feeling well so she invited us round."

He looked at me and I grabbed some bread and dunked it into my soup and scoffed it down. He laughed and patted my back. "_Sooooo_" Jasper started "How are you guys feeling since...well the other day and all?"

I looked at Edward again. This was going to be a _long_ lunch.

"We don't want to mention it Jasper, Bella doesn't appreciate talking about things like that, especially when we're in a good mood and eating." Edward glared at him.

I put my hand on his shoulder. "It's ok, Jazz, Edward's like me I suppose. I mean, imagine getting pregnant and then miscarrying. I don't enjoy liking the subject." I reminded him. He nodded and apologized. I shrugged it off.

* * *

After we'd finally got rid of Alice and Jasper at around half past four, me and Edward relaxed by watching a movie on the sofa. I snuggled into him and he wrapped his arms around me.

We were watching _'Monty Python and the Holy Grail'_ which is by far the funniest thing I've ever watched. We were up to the part when King Arthur is with his men and come across the _'__Bridge__ of __Death_.'

_"Stop! WHAT is your name?" The bridge keeper asks.  
"I'm Sir Lancelot!" Lancelot replies.  
"WHAT is your quest?  
"To find the Holy Grail!"  
"WHAT is your favourite colour?"  
"Blue"  
"Ok, go on then!" he says allowing him across._

I cannot stop laughing when the next two try to get smart with the bridge keeper.

* * *

We go to bed around half past 7, an early night for us. We take our pills again and snuggled together. "Bella?" He asks me in the dark after a silence.

I look up at him. He's leaning on one elbow looking at the wall behind me. "What's the matter?" I ask, sitting up, pulling my arms round his shoulders.

He looks at me and says "I love you." I smile. "I love you too Edward."

He kisses me then, leaving me breathless. His lips move slowly and quietly round like mine and pulls me closer into him. I know what he wants and ... we're not allowed. But I had to speak up unless he'd do it and worsen our situation.

"Edward" I moan, trying to open my mouth long enough to tell him, but he attacks my lips once more, running his hand down my side, down to my underwear.

I grab his hand and put it on my shoulder but he runs it down onto my chest. He moves on top of me and before I know it, his boxers are off. I am frantic now.

"_Edward_!" I half yell at him and he stops, looking at my annoyed expression. He stops looks down and then his brain clicks into place. He pulls his pants back on and rolls back onto his side, his back to me.

I sigh deeply - "_Edward_ - I was just going to explain that if you honestly want to as much as I do, I bought some condoms the other day - their in your bedside drawer." He looks at me and even in the dark, I can see him blushing beetroot.

I laugh. "You look so cute when you blush - y'know that don't you?" I chuckled.

He mock glares at me and kisses my forehead. "I'm sorry; I just got caught up in the moment Bella. You're so beautiful when you lie down next to me. It's the best feeling in the world - making me so happy. It's my entire fault that we cannot have children. I'm the one who caught something of that bitch years ago. I regret not telling you sooner, explaining that that white lie had ruined everything in my future."

I stroke his cheek, "No need to fret anymore - we're on the right track on doing something about it. Your always have me. Like I'll always have you." He smiled and leaned back and grabbed the bedside drawer, pulling out the condoms.

I chuckled again - how could I live without him?


	10. SecretSURPISE!

Why Edward? Why?

Chapter 10: Secret...SURPISE!

Bella POV

I left earlier than normal on the morning of the _20th of June_ for very good reason. My dear husband's birthday was _today _and I had to make sure that he'd be _totally surprised_.

I was throwing a party in at our apartment and _everyone_, all our friends, would be there. Even _Tanya_, Edward's new boss was coming though when I spoke to her, she swore she wouldn't tell Edward at all. She made me feel quite uneasy when I was speaking to her.

I didn't trust her that much. If she _fucked _up my husband's 24th birthday - she'd have _hell _to pay.

I wasn't due to work until half past twelve but Angela said that nothing major was happening for me today and that she'd call me when chaos picked up. I grinned to myself - I was happy about today.

I had woken up early (half past five) to be precise, gotton a shower, breakfast - _without _waking Edward. I left him a note on the pillow:

_Happy Birthday, my gorgeous husband!_

_I had to pop out to work quickly - something came up._

_I'll catch you later sweetie!_

_Love Bella x x x _

I left the note on my pillow and got outside before he woke up. I was out the house by quarter to seven and was driving down the highway to Port Angeles.

I had bought his birthday present _weeks _ago and was only able to get it finalised till today. Alice and Rose had got the music and food for me - after I told them what to buy and _not _what to buy.

Alice had asked about night-time clothing and I had shown her the nightdress that had driven him crazy the other night which she had nodded her head in approval to.

_Ok_, she may be my sister-in-law but she was _fucking _at the top when it came to clothes and seducing men at their weak point - which is _always _underwear!

When I got to the store, I marched in and met Alice herself. She took off her sunglasses and looked at me. I'd dressed in a deep pink dress, which reached my knees. Too mumsie for me but Alice had said it was easier to try on new clothes in a mumsie dress for some reason. She nodded "Shall we?" I nodded and we stalked to the dress section.

She picked out two blue dresses. We were going to make Edward feel really happy today and blue was _key_. There was a tight, light _poster paint _blue cardigan with red jeans and boots. I shake my head - was she _insane_?

Then she raised the other dress - it was dark midnight blue, reached just below my thighs and had cream leggings with it. I choose white heel stilettos. Then we head to embarrassing part.

Alice was demanding me to choose a thong - _no fucking way_. I hated thongs. She'd forced me to wear one once, but truth be told, what's so hot about a string and then...? It was _pointless_. I shake my head - I knew he'd agree with me. I chose some lacy red underwear but to please Alice - I choose one with a very see-through bra. I _felt dirty _by picking it up and taking it to be paid. It should be banned, see-through things. It wasn't natural.

* * *

It was half past three and he would have been home any minute. Everyone was waiting and everyone was excited. They were also very hungry as I'd ordered and banned _anyone_ from eating until the birthday boy came in.

They grumbled but compiled. I'd caught Emmett a few times though.

Quarter to four, he should be here already. What on _earth _was the hold-up? And what's more importantly I was feeling quite sick. I ran into the loo and threw up in the toilet. Alice had followed me and checked my temperature. It was nothing like a fever or anything. Maybe I was just nervous.

_Fucking _four o'clock was and went by. I was fuming now. Where was he? He'd promised ten to four at the latest! I found my phone and dialled his number.

No answer. I was panicking - what was happening?

Then I decided to call Tanya - she would have known if something was up with him right? No answer.

I was on the edge of tears at half past four. Where _was _my husband?

At five o'clock I was sobbing into my hands. I snapped and told everyone to be quiet when I heard noises outside.

The lock clicked and I heard giggling. The door swung open to find Edward, drunk and having his tongue down Tanya's _fucking_ throat. Every looked at my horror-struck face. I walked up to him until he saw me.

He may not have been as drunk as I thought he was until he realised that everyone was glaring at him and Tanya. I narrowed my eyes, which were full of tears, waiting to explode.

He saw the banner, he saw the presents. He even noticed that I was on the edge of tears and the table full of food. He looked fearfully at me.

This was the _worst _birthday day _ever_.


	11. Worse Birthday

Why Edward? Why?

Chapter 10: Worst Birthday

Edward POV

l woke up later than normal on the morning of my birthday. I opened my eyes slowly and planned to roll over and cuddle up to my wife...but _she wasn't there_.

I scrambled - panicked with the white sheets until I found a note:

_Happy Birthday, my gorgeous husband!_

_I had to pop out to work quickly - something came up._

_I'll catch you later sweetie!_

_Love Bella x x x _

I sighed. I wished my Bella was here with me. I wanted her so badly. I missed her like crazy when she wasn't with me. At least she's always going to love me...or loses faith in the marriage, like she was scared to death that I would. In my _right mind_ - I'd _never betray_ my wife. I love her too much. I care for her every breath and I adore her to pieces.

After I'd got myself sorted and showered, washed and shaved, I went to work feeling quite happy. I had to remind myself several times that this was because it was my birthday and I was giddy with excitement like a 5 year old boy.

Tanya seemed strangely bouncy today. She saw me and gave me a huge hug.

"Happy Birthday!" she sang. It felt weird as I wished that Bella had said it first.

I wonder why she left so early. Tanya let me go and gave me the brief. "We have a problem." she said. "You know...Daniel..."

My smile faltered. Daniel was my precious main patient.

He was only eight years old but he was _still in his coma_. I had deep feelings for him and acted like a father _as well as_ his doctor. I was afraid to ask. There'd been no news about him for a week since he fell into the coma.

"Yes?" I answered, not wanting a bad response. Tanya looked sad.

"I think you should follow me Edward." and a tear fell out of her eye. I couldn't bear it. I rushed to his room and his heart monitor was going very slowly.

"He is fighting it but his body is winning. The disease is actually holding him back. I've notified his parents but they want nothing to do with him, not even caring. They said to put him in your firm hands now. It's your choice if you want to turn it off." Tanya said gloomily.

I sank to my knees. "No" I whispered, running my hands through my messy hair.

This was _awful_. I'd known him before he'd become worse. He had been a sweet and very kind lad. He was the sort of son, every man wanted. And if I was to turn his life support machine off, then I'd regret it my whole life.

The fact that me and Bella were trying for a kid, when here - I actually would of ended another.

Tanya put her hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry Edward. You can rule against it. But I think they don't care. It's a situation that they don't give a damm. If you don't they will come and blow up the machine. I'll leave you alone with him." she said soothingly and walked out of the room.

I took one of Daniel's hands. He seemed peaceful, calm and his heart was slowing anyway. I brushed some hair out of his face and felt the tears coming.

This is probably one of the hardest decisions of my life. He wasn't related or connected to me. He was just my patient and I was his doctor. _How could his family abandon him?_ I didn't believe Tanya.

I went out of the room, shutting it behind me and hurried to my office. I got my laptop out of my bag, pulled Daniel's file out of my file cabinet and searched through it.

_Now, where his family staying?_ Or said they were? I scanned the file until I saw it then frowned:

**_Address_**_: Unknown_

I slammed my hand down on the desk, causing my bag to fall onto the floor. I plugged my laptop to the hospital network and dug out one address, but it took me nearly an hour to find it.

_23 Hillcresent Road  
Forks, __Washington_. 

I glanced at my watch. If I hurried, I could get there in less than 10 minutes. I got my coat on and went to the nurse station to inform them,

I'd be out for a while. I had no urgent appointments today - today was a quiet day.

I got into my car, started the engine and floored it to Hillcresent Road. I pulled up in front of No.23. I was nervous to be meeting a Daniel's parents.

* * *

I prepared myself for the worse. I knocked three times and just as I was going to turn back and go home, the door opened.

She was an African just like Daniel, the dark black skin reflecting in the sunlight. I hoped she was related to Daniel.

"Hello, is the Tannins household?" I asked. "I'm looking for a Novella Tannins." she nodded sharply and spoke up, sounding very cross and glaring at my name badge, still visible through the gap of my coat.

"What do you want Dr Cullen? I told you - that boy is no good of mine!" she snapped. I flinched.

"May I come in?" I asked. She shook her head "No!" I sighed.

"Well I'll explain now then. Your son, Daniel has been in a coma the last week and it has come to my attention that despite having the life support machine, his illness is tugging at the corners of his life. I would be glad if you at least came to see your son. I got a message saying that you called, saying you didn't care if he lived or died. Well I'm sure you care now because he is slowly but surely dying. I'm sorry."

My speech ended and she looked gob smacked.

She slowly raised a hand to her mouth which had dropped open. "He's _actually_ dying?" she croaked.

I nodded. Tears pooled in her eyes and I knew she'd been lying - I felt like she was just angry. Hearing first-hand that her only son was dying put the emotion back into her voice.

"Go back tot he hospital. I'll just get the car and call...the family. We all need to say goodbye." I nodded and started towards my car. I never thought I could have done that.

* * *

"I cannot believe you got that done, Edward!" an amazed Tanya said as I guided the Tannins family members towards his room. There were three, thirteen year old girls and another eight year old who I guessed, were his sisters. His father and mother were guiding them carefully through, making them quiet and warning them to shut up.

I opened his door and walked in, checked his readings and gazed at the boy. His skin seemed paler; you could see the life being taken from him every minute.

Novella and her husband cried out loud when they ran forward and grabbed his hands. "Daniel! Why are you dying? I didn't mean it sweetheart! Mummy didn't mean to upset you! Look! Daddy's here and he can make your favourite food and spicy noodles for you! Just open your eyes sweetie!"

His sisters were crying and watching him from the foot of the bed. The eight year old came up to me and wrapped her little arms round my waist.

"Even if he dies," she whispered as the tears washed down her cheeks "...Thank you for looking after my brother." I hugged her closely.

"It was no problem, it's my job sweetheart." she nodded and cried even harder. I knelt down and she hugged me properly.

It was very emotional. Even with his family around him, Daniel wasn't getting better. He was getting worse.

There looked like no turning back. I turned to Novella. "May I have a private word with you and your husband briefly?" I whispered, not wanting his sisters to hear.

She nodded tearfully and they followed me out, down the hall to my office. I shut the door after they came in. Then I walked over to my desk and crossed my hands in front of me.

"I'm sorry to spring this news on your two as you have only just seen him again, but I think you two should consider and remind yourselves that his illness is worsening. We have tired _everything_ we can do and I, myself have cared and looked after him during your absence. There is nothing else we can do. You two now have the choice to make - it's come to the time where you can turn off his life support machine."

"Is that your final decision?" I asked nervously. This was it. The moment. I would never speak or be with Daniel ever again after this. I was going to miss him so much. I cursed myself as a bad doctor, even though Tanya soothed me, saying that it wasn't me, just science hadn't caught up with his illness.

I felt awful, standing there, with his two parents in front of him and the beeping life support machine.

"Y-_yes_, we want him to be at peace." Novella answered, still trying to contain her sobs. Her husband nodded at me and he was crying as well.

I could feel the tears in my eyes as well, but tired not to let them fall. "Then in your own time." I said and stood back. I gazed at Daniel as his mother and father walked slowly towards his machine. I held my breath as Novella reached out her hand, towards the switch.

I wanted to look away - I needed to not stare as the boy, who's life was about to be ended in front of me - the boy who I'd grown to adore.

It was completely silent for a whole ten seconds and then...

_CLICK_! Novella flicked the switch and immediately grabbed Daniel's hand. His heart monitor got slower and slower. I watched as the line become lower and lower until..._Beeeeeeeeep_. Flat line. Dr. Grandly took over and I half ran to my office, tears pouring down my cheeks.

* * *

"Edward? Edward...I'll call your wife if you don't look at me." I heard Tanya say.

My head snapped up. Bella would be more devastated than I would. It was then, as I thought of my Bella that I remembered it was my birthday. What a _shit_ birthday.

I'd been cowering in my office for at least an hour before Tanya had come to me. She was upset at Daniel's...death but she knew how close I'd been. His family had been grieved and they had been sent home. They said that I would defiantly be saved a seat and a speech at his funeral.

"This morning, I was going to take you out after work for a drink for your birthday -" she looked up. "-but seeing at current events, I think you should just go home to your wife Edward. I'm sure she'd cheer you up." I nodded but didn't meet my gaze.

Bella would of been in a good mood, but as soon as I walked thought the door, she would feel bad as well. I would be a bad husband to do that.

"_No_ -" I said, packing up my things."- No, let's go. Instead of celebrating my birthday, let's go celebrate Daniel's life? I'd feel better at that." she smiled. "Ok, then. I'll see you at 'The Forks Derma at half past for a few drinks. Cheer you up?"

I nodded.

* * *

"When did you saay wasss his fiiirst baddd thing?" Tanya slurred. We'd had maybe a bit too much to drink and we were discussing Daniel and giggling every time we burped or feel off our barstool. I thought. "Hmmm thaaatss prooppperly abbbout thrreee weeks after hheeee wass dumped in thhe hossspitaaal." I slurred back. I checked my watch. I wasn't as hammered as she was but I was still a bit lightweight. Bella had wanted me home by half past three, quarter to at the latest.

"Ooopps, Tanya we need too geett going!" I laughed.

"Whhy?" she asked.

"My birthday - Bella wanted me homeee byy noow."

"Oops. Letts's go theenn!"

I helped her off the stool and out of the bar. It was late and I couldn't get a taxi for love or money.

Finally at least _half past four_, we flanked one down. I plonked her inside on the back seat and told the driver my address to the apartment.

It was nearly five o'clock when we stumbled up the stairs and was just outside the door. I fumbled with my keys and for some reason, Tanya somehow fell over.

Which at the time, was quite funny. I got my keys and pulled Tanya up and opened the door. Tanya had other plans - she decided then to kiss me. _Shit_.

I opened my eyes and studied the apartment. It was full of all our family friends, including my parents and some old school friends of mine.

Then I spotted that Tanya was kissing me

**_-_**_in the doorway of my house_

**_-_**_on the doorway to my 'surprise' birthday party_.

I looked and saw Bella. She was wearing her best blue dress and looked heartbroken. She's put all the effort to make me a birthday party - all the planning.

And here I was my arm draped round another women and snogging her.

I pushed Tanya away and felt all the glares on me. Bella's face fell from her glare and the tears gushed out of her eyes. She turned and ran into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

Tanya had looked around and gasped.

This was the worst birthday _ever_.


	12. Stressed

Why Edward? Why?

Chapter 12: Stressed

Bella POV

I looked up at the ceiling of our bedroom. It was dark outside and it had started to rain. The rest of the guests had been sent home and I was totally humiliated. Alice had told me that Edward and Tanya had yelled at her - letting them explain to me. Turned out they were both quite drunk.

I didn't believe them until Edward threw up on her back. I stifled a laugh. I felt even more...uneven than beforehand.

I'd become all strange and calm, which freaked everyone out. It was the kind of calm that was forced and soon there'd be a huge explosion. I could feel that.

A knock at the door and I heard a moan.

I ignored it and rolled onto my side, not bothering to undress. I slipped off my heels and took off my earrings and necklace, placing them onto the bedside table. I switched the light off and fell asleep almost at once.

When I woke, I was happy. I was overcome with joy.

I had no reason why. I then looked down at my clothes and felt sick. The party and disaster _had _happened. It had been _Edward _kissing his new boss.

He _lied_, not just once but about _everything_. I could no longer trust him, unless he explained everything to me and I _believed_ him.

A wife should offer the chance before she calls her lawyers for a divorce. The idea of divorce pained me - _no_. I couldn't divorce my Edward.

I got myself cleaned and got changed. I changed in my simple jeans and my white top. I walked to the kitchen, not bothering to check if there was anyone in the lounge.

It was only when I slammed the fridge door a bit _too _loud, that I heard a _THUMP_ and a groan. I poked my head round the door.

Edward had fallen off the sofa, and was rubbing his head. I leaned against the doorway, watching him. He sensed my eyes on him and he looked up, with bloodshot eyes. His eyes widened and he scrambled to his feet.

"B-Bella?" he said, fumbling with his words in his brain.

I gave him my water and some aspirin for his hangover. I wasn't sure if I should start or if he did. I cannot hold grudges until I know the full story - even sometimes _then_, I can't. Ha ha.

"Yes?" I said, my mouth wanting to smile, but I held it back. It was hard not to grin at the very flustered Edward _- with a hangover._

"Thanks" he said, taking the water and chugging down the aspirin.

He put the glass down and fumbled in his pockets, searching. I cleared my throat and pointed to the counter-top.

There was only one good thing about today. And that was that the pills we had to take over the week-long period - had been used up. He gasped when he spotted the empty packets and looked up at me. I was debating how to smoothly make this work.

"Edward" and his name burned my throat. He looked up, fearfully.

I sighed and continued. "I think that we should hold that explaining for later. We need to get to the hospital. Get yourself sorted and we can go."

He nodded glumly. "Ok" he whispered, looking at the floor and he shuffled off. Edward was clearly embarrassed and scared about the relationship. I was still hurt that I'd put all the effort in for a surprise for him, not me. I sighed - _oh well Bella. Get over it._

Edward let me drive to school as his bad headache was affecting him slightly. Edward wasn't a good hangover person.

He was a giggle-ly drunk most of the time and he usually knew what he was up to. I was silently praying that when I witnessed him and Tanya snogging, I wished that I had **a)** hadn't seen it or **b)** seeing as I had seen it, that Tanya snogged him. Not the other way round. _I sounded like such a schoolgirl!_

I took Edward's hand when we got out of the car. He jumped at my touch but didn't comment. It was silent torture waiting in the waiting room. Then after 10 minutes of utter silence from either of us, I decided to speak.

"Did you kiss her first?" I blurted out, not caring if he hit me or not.

"Huh?" he asked confused. Then it dawned on him. "_No_, she did. We were a bit giggle-ly and she fell over. I pulled her up as I opened the door and she put her tongue down my throat."

I narrowed my eyes. _Should I believe him?_ I was going to say something bad about it when I saw her. Tanya Denali.

Walking behind reception and talking to the receptionist. My hands curled into fists. I didn't want her anywhere near my husband. She turned but spotted us. Edward had seen her but didn't look. He seemed to be mouthing "Is she coming over?" He had his back to her.

I nodded and I closed my eyes to control my outrage.

"Hey Bella. Hi Edward." I glared up at her. She was beaming. I narrowed my eyes further at her. Then she seemed to remember.

"Could I possibly meet up with you this week-end Bella? I need to say sorry." she gushed.

"It's not hard to say it Tanya" I spat out her name like an infection. "Edward has said it several times since we got up!" I growled.

Edward squeezed my hand. I could feel my explosion coming close. I really didn't need/want to explode right here, in the waiting room, where Edward worked. It would embarrass him more than me.

Tanya back-pedalled and looked awkward. "Ok, I'll tell Edward tommorrow. Bye!" and she scurried off. Edward turned to me.

"That wasn't very nice."

I glowered at him. "You know what _ELES_ isn't nice Edward? How about I spend all the time and effort and planning to spring a surprise birthday party on my husband, and then the surprise is on me and he's _fucking _snogging someone else!" I hissed.

He flinched and started to speak when Dr. Irina came out. "Mr and Mrs Cullen?" she asked. I got up and he followed me.

As soon as I got into the room, I walked straight in and sat down on the stupid plastic chair. Dr. Irina hurried in after us and rustled the papers on her desk.

She must get tired of us; I get tired of seeing her all the time. Edward put a hand on my shoulder. I fought the urge to shrug it off. I didn't need the stress today. _No today._

"I have very good news!" Dr Irina announced, quite cheery.

I glanced up, she was beaming and was smiling back at us. Me in particular.

"Your infection has been cleared; you're both free of the illness!" I felt numb. If nothing hadn't happened today then I would have been happy.

I felt tense and I needed time - _away from Edward_.

Maybe a girly weekend? I was already planning it in my head. A sunny beach - sunbathing, no stress and peace. Though a part of my heart wanted Edward to come.

But my brain rejected it - _NO stress_.

Edward tapped me on the shoulder. I jumped. Dr Irina had walked out of the room and it was only me and he left alone in the room.

I sighed and got up. Edward stopped me. I gave him a puzzled look before he pulled me into a warm embrace. Strangely - my brain accepted this, it felt nice, good, solid and safe.

In Edward's arms. I leaned into him, inhaling his warm scent. I can't be angry at him, I love him. He was my husband and I was his wife. He had told me that he wanted me and only me.

"Let's go home." he whispered. I nodded and we walked out of the hospital and into the car. He had some explaining to do.


	13. Explosion&Surpise

Why Edward? Why?

Chapter 13: Explosion & Surprise

Edward POV

I was getting quite confused with Bella. I mean I was terrified about how here reaction was going to be. She was in that state of calmness, the kind you never trust to remain there for long.

The tension built and built until we crossed the threshold to our home. She'd made me feel strange, cuddling me for support after her snap with Tanya. I didn't blame her. She wasn't going to be my friend anymore - not after last night.

I turned to Bella, "Please, tell me Bella love, I need to know." That's when it all came out.

Bella POV

He wanted to know what was _wrong_? He wanted to know _every single _doubt and thought that was crossing over in my mind? He wanted to _cheer me up_? So, that's when I totally lost it.

I started by turning on him.

"You tell_ me _Edward!" I snapped, harshly. "You guess what's wrong and I'll tell you?"

He jumped at my anger wave and defended himself - naturally. "Well, I'm only doing what a _husband _would do?"

I laughed without humour.

"What a good husband or a _unfaithful_ husband Edward? How many women have you _slept _with? Or _kissed_? Or _been with _behind your wife's back? Clearly you don't _fucking _love me anymore!"

A flash of pain flashed across his face before he could control it. Then he started walking forwards - a minus, telling me that he was having a very _bad _day.

"I don't _fucking _know! I was drunk Bella! You know, I was drinking -" he started miming, which only made my fury build. "- at a pub! With Tanya to cheer me up! She was only being _nice_!"

"Well -" I started but then thought. "- well...you didn't even call me to cheer you up! I'm your _wife! She's _not!" I made my expression look how I felt, disappointed.

"- A wife should cheer her husband up and that's why I loved you. You seemed to not...appreciate me. That's how I feel."

He started saying something but he noticed my past tense. He paused, halfway through lecturing me and pain clearly appeared on his face. "I...I d-do appreciate you B-_Bella_!" he said, his face falling.

I shock my head "You clearly _don't_ Edward." I retorted. He came up to me and put his hands on my shoulders.

"Bella" he breathed, I didn't raise my head, and I kept looking at my feet.

"Bella - I love you. I'm sorry that I didn't come home sooner. But well, Tanya took a chance with me, she knew I was upset and-" he seemed to be realising something.

"-_she...t-tricked me into it_?" he said almost like a question. I looked up; he seemed to be staring into space and shock written across his face.

It was quiet for almost 10 minutes before he spoke again. "I'm so sorry Bella. I didn't realise...I"

I silenced him with a finger. "_Don't._" I said.

More silence.

"I think we should take a holiday" I whispered.

He nodded slowly. "Do you want me to transfer hospitals Bella?" he asked, suddenly.

I looked up. "Why?" I asked.

His eyes bore into mine. "I meant so I can keep away from her" he said. I nodded but then turned to look round the apartment. It wasn't really or ever had felt like home.

"So...we're _moving_?" I asked. He nodded.

"I'll be right back." I said and went into the bedroom, locking the door.

Edward POV

I watched as Bella, walked slowly and numbly to the bedroom. I heard her close it and then the lock. Maybe she needed time alone. Well, I wasn't going to interrupt her anyway.

I went to the sofa and sat on it, kicking off my shoes and reaching for the remote. I turned the telly on and flicked through the channels, not really paying attention. I found the sports and watched a football game. The team I usually supported were loosing and Bella's favourite team were winning.

_I couldn't believe that I'd been so silly!_ Tanya, of all people had to be the woman who pulled me away from my lovely Bella? My one and only sweet, generous and kind wife?

Nobody - was going to take my Bella away from me and I didn't care. Tanya was dead meat to me.

Bella and she were never at competition. I was already with Bella. I'm not the kind of guy who cheats. Even if I would be, I wouldn't have cheated on Bella. She was special, pure gold in my eyes. The kind of women, men like me dreamed about for settling down with a family.

The game finished and I stretched. Bella had been in the bedroom for nearly twenty minutes. Wasn't she hungry or needed support? I went to the door and knocked softly. "Bella, love?"

No answer. "Are you hungry? I could make some dinner for you if you want?"

No answer again. "Unlock the door." I said, but waited. I heard the lock click but then I heard her landing on the bed.

I opened the door slowly and saw her. She was pale. I walked over to her, panicked. "Bella?"

She looked at me and had..._happy_ tears in her eyes?

"What's wrong?" I asked. She slowly lifted a finger towards the bathroom.

Confused I walked into the door and looked.

There were **three pregnancy tests **on the toilet seat - and they were **all positive**


	14. News

Why Edward? Why?

Chapter 14: News

Bella POV

I locked the door after I went into the bedroom. I needed to do this the way I knew I should. Locking away Edward was stage one, complete. I went to my wardrobe, pulling out the carrier bag which they'd stayed since I purchased them almost a week ago.

I was going to take the assistant's advice. Do it in private and with three of them, the ones she'd suggested and advised. I pulled out the three boxes, gazing at them in my hand.

Slowly I opened all three and read the instructions. I was bursting for a wee so this would be perfect time.

_'Pee on the stick and wait exactly one minute for the **PregnantOrNot? **to work it's magic and examine with the results of Yes or No and if Yes, how many weeks you would be due' _I read of the box. Shaking I went over to the toilet.

I had urinated on all three and had them all on the closed lid of the toilet. I also had my back to them.

There was this kind of feeling that we women had about pregnancy tests. _Do we want it to say negative? Do we want it to say positive?_

For the first time since we'd started trying for children, I had no idea of my answer and it bewildered me.

This was the first time I'd ever purchased and used pregnancy tests. If they did say...p-positive, then I would go to the hospital to see it confirmed. With Edward or not, I could decide later.

I was counting the minute with the tap of my foot. I hadn't realised that it had been almost ten minutes since I'd stopped tapping and daydreamed. I came out of it and slowly turned around.

I walked slowly towards the and gazed at my fate in the three sticks. It read:

**_Pregnant_**

**_1-2 Weeks_**

I could of fainted, they all said the same thing! I felt the panic coming on and tired to control it. I could not break down and etcetera. _What if I lost it?_

But then I thought - I didn't have the illness anymore! My hopes soared and I sank to my knees, trying to hold all the happy grief coming off me. I realised that the tears were pouring down my face and I couldn't really..._see._

I heard a gentle _knock knock knock _- Edward's special knock.

I glanced at the clock - nearly twenty minutes since I had locked him out. I slowly go to my feet and unlocked the door with trembling fingers and ran and landed on the bed.

I was so happy! It un-nerved me.

Edward walked in and I heard him asking if I was ok. I raised a shaky hand to the bathroom. He went in and I heard a gasp.

I grinned widely at him as he walked back into the bedroom with the same happy grin on my face.

"B-_Bella_, I see three pregnancy tests in there - is-is it t-_true_?"

I slowly nodded, the grin getting wider.

I got up and ran to him, throwing my arms round his neck. He pulled me into him and held me close. We started laughing and in my case, _crying_. Edward seemed bewildered that I was crying.

After about ten minutes, I felt the awkwardness coming again. I couldn't stand the awful tension we had. Maybe it was just me. I thought it was just me.

Edward couldn't seem to control his emotion. He pulled my chin up to make me eye level with him. "Well done, Bella love" he breathed, his warm breath washing upon my face.

I didn't want to feel all of this hope for nothing.

"Hospital. NOW!" I growled, making my smile disappear. His faded too - his face, a mask of seriousness. "Yes, Bella."

I pulled out of the hug and straighten my jacket. My top was stained with my happy tears, my jeans were ruffled and my hair was sticking up like a hay-stack.

Sighing, I walked into the bathroom, not bothering to close the door in my wake.


	15. Pregnant Or Not?

Why Edward? Why?

Chapter 15: Pregnant or Not?

Bella POV

"I'm getting tired of this place!" I muttered, darkly. Edward had decided to drive and we were just driving into the car park.

He chuckled, "How do you think I feel?"

I chuckled even darker back, "True. Not for much longer though..."

He sighed "Yeeah." He didn't seem keen at the thought.

I was because every second he spent with Tanya - the more I didn't trust him. I had yet to explain this to him but I was positive he would understand.

I mean - he realised what he had been lured into by the bitch. I didn't understand how he could of been so blind! Maybe it's a man thing...

I made my way out of the car, which was unpleasant as it was pouring it down with rain. The cold wet downpour hammered against the car windows and was un-inviting.

Thankfully, Edward had parked right near the reception. He hurried me out, with an umbrella above his head.

I pulled fiercely on the door and ran to the desk.

"Hey, we have an appointment with Dr. Irina" I recited as per usual.

She smiled sweetly up at me (or rather, Edward) , properly drooling all over him. My irritation soared.

"Hello? Can you hear me?" I half-yelled, making half the foyer turn to stare at me.

She blinked and shock her head slightly. "I apologize" she simpered. _Ugh_.

Edward wasn't having this "Olivia, for _gods_ sake, don't take the _piss_ with us today!" he snapped nastily.

She flinched and started looking through the appointments on her computer screen under the desk.

"The name's Cullen" I said. She looked up "_MRS _Bella _CULLEN_" I emphasised.

That wiped the horrid smirk of her fake face. She properly thought I was his sister or something.

"Dr. Irina had to go help one of her patients help deliver a child a few minutes ago and will be unable for her scheduled appointments for today" she drawled, bored already.

_Damm_! I needed to know if the test was right! I needed to really KNOW!

"There is Doctor Mike Newton, who is a very skilled..."

We were both shaking our heads before she could finish. No way - was MIKE NEWTON gunna look down there.

"or Doctor Cullen Sr himself..."

She looked at Edward - "Your father is in the staff room."

Edward gulped. So did me.

He'd get the father-son talk about the birthday party and raise eyebrows that we were happy about me being pregnant…which made me feel quite sad.

She sighed. "Apart from that, the only Nurse who is available is Nurse Tanya Denali." I groaned inwardly.

But nodded stiffly. This was gunna be interesting.

"She's in Room.18, down the corridor to the second left."


	16. Tanya

Why Edward? Why?

Chapter 16: Tanya's Passion

Edward POV

Bella seemed quite pissed that we had Tanya, of all the nurses and doctors in this hospital. For god's sake, I could of been able to perform the examination if we were on the right terms. I had a feeling that Bella didn't...trust Tanya or Tanya around me. Maybe us both? Oh heck.

We came to the room and taking a deep breath, I knocked on the room. I heard a "Come in!" and I opened the door.

Tanya seemed to be cleaning her hands, setting up her equipment and had her back turned away from us. I cleared my throat. She turned and beamed.

"Hey Edward! Bella!" she smiled, happily. I heard a low growl from Bella. I put a hand on her shoulder and Bella glared.

She looked like a ten-year-old who'd been refused ice cream after making a scene.

"Tanya" she greeted, coldly. Tanya's grin faltered a bit but not much.

"It looks, like you will be seeing if Bella is pregnant or not, Tanya" I said, ignoring the snarls from Bella. She nodded, handing Bella a plastic cup. Bella looked at it like it was a plate of horse manure.

"Yes?" she questioned.

Tanya sighed. "You have to go pee in the cup, we can quickly test it and then I can confirm it for you." she stated simply. Bella thought for a moment.

"Ok" she said, taking the cup. She turned, Tanya winked at me.

Bella saw that - she'd spun on her heel and threw daggers at her.

"Edward - _BEHAVE_ please." she said, throwing me a glance, which was begging. I nodded. She still glared at Tanya, and then she swept out of the room.

"Why is she being so touchy?" Tanya asked, surprise on her face. I could see the edge of a smirk on her face as well.

"She's...worried or _paranoid _that you are up to no good since the birthday party." I said, looking at the floor.

Tanya laughed. "What a _silly _woman. She should know by now that you'd _never _get into bed with me." I cringed.

"_Anyway_..." she carried on, prancing slowly towards me, I groaned in my head."...you could always ask me into your bed."

I shuddered, stepping away from her. "What one earth has got _into _you? You were a normal friend before we got _pissed_!" I was getting angry.

She tufted. "No need to get _depressed_, Edward" she said smoothly.

I gasped - that _bitch_! I growled. "What the _fuck_, Tanya?"

"You heard me, I often check you in order, Edward."

I wanted to throttle her - which surprised me. She wasn't allowed to take advantage of accessing files, especially one of her colleagues.

"Did you plan this?" I half-yelled.

She nodded sweetly. "You had no idea! You had no idea!" she hissed.

I frowned in confusion. "What do you mean, Tanya?" she walked across the room and stood just in front of me, very close.

"I was always in love with you Edward before _she _came along - the filthy _slag_!" and she pulled on my tie, forcing our lips together.

She seemed to kiss me with such passion, it was really hard to pull away.

I groaned into her mouth, tugging her closer?

_Edward_! I yelled at myself. _Are you fucking mad? What about Bella? Your freaking wife_! I tired to stop, but she only pulled me closer.

I forced my hands to her shoulders but she thought I wanted to do it! She started to undo her uniform shirt...

I heard a startled cry of pain. I pushed her off me and turned.

But all I got was a hard _SMACK _in the face and the expression on my wife's face before she threw her urine _all over me_.

Before I could say anything - she had fled, tears running down her face.

"_B-Bella_!" I yelled. "Come back!" _Yeah_, the voice in my head said, _didn't I fucking try to stop you? You stupid prick_! I started to run after Bella.

I ran outside to see Bella, tires squealing out of the car park.

_Crap_.


	17. Dying

Why Edward? Why?

Chapter 17: Dying

Bella POV

I was walking back with my urine in one hand and my temper calmed. I shouldn't have had a go at Edward. I'm maybe just so paranoid.

I planned to go in and apologize to Tanya, have her do our results and make everything all ok with Edward.

I _didn't _plan what I heard and saw.

I was just outside the room, about to turn the handle when I heard Edward half-yelling at Tanya:

_"What do you mean, Tanya?" _he asked in confusion. Then she spoke:

_"I was always in love with you Edward before she came along - the filthy slag!"_

I gasped and opened the door and had to hold back a louder scream.

Edward had his lips pinned with hers, making out for America and showing no signs of stopping.

His arms reached to her shoulders and she started to undo her top. I couldn't even bear to watch.

Unthinkingly, I let out a strangled squeal of pain, he pushed her forcefully off her.

His eyes met mine and I smacked him right across the face, pouring my wee all over his head.

I legged it out of the room, down the hall and ignoring the "_B-Bella! Come Back_!"

No way was I running back to him. The_ cheating bastard._

I reached the lobby and threw the door open. The rain was still pissing it down and I had the car keys.

I beeped the door unlocked and got myself in it, forgetting about seatbelts and hit the accelerator.

I was out of the car park and halfway down the highway in thirty seconds, I was nearing 70mph and I still hadn't got my seatbelt on.

My head filled with the heartbreaking images in my head, clouding my mind, forgetting about the road in front of me.

_Why?_ I screamed at myself. _Why? Why Edward? Why?_

I was screaming to myself.

I didn't hear several loud horns blare at me, before I was in a crash - so powerful that I could of sworn I felt my back go.

Blood squirted it in my eyes, my arms bounced numbly around me, and I felt my head meet the windscreen.

My skull broke the pressure in my head - making myself feel agonic pain, but ignored it. I didn't car: maybe _I wanted to die..._

Maybe if I died, it would end everything.

End the stress. The pain of Edward cheating. If I survived, I'd have to live through it. I think I wanted to die...

I heard yells and panicked people. "Quick! She's loosing loads of blood!" I heard an un-familiar voice say.

My eyes were glanced and I felt my consciousness drop.

Slowly, my eyes fade and the pain depending.

I heard and witnessed through my closing eyes: that I didn't push/could not push his hand away.

_Please, please - make me die. Please, please - I want to die._

I screamed loudly, making myself wake up and feel the panic, they had to cut, me out of the car.

My head drooped and I fell silent. _Peace was with me. Please stay._


	18. Loosing Bella

Why Edward? Why?

Chapter 18: Loosing Bella

Edward POV

"Bella!" I yelled again, under the slight hope she might hear me.

_Nice work jackass. You have now got a divorce paper coming your way. _

I groaned and walked straight back inside to the phone booth. I dialled for a taxi and was told to hold. I was standing there for at least two minutes before Tanya came.

"Edward – do you want to have a cup of tea, and then we can discuss your options."

I turned "What _options_?"

She smiled, showing bright white teeth. "Options about me and you, sweetie. Your wife didn't like our little kiss and is maybe jealous of me, as I have you."

I glared at her, pure hate in my eyes. "Nobody has me, but Bella. Bella is my wife and I love her. _Not you_. You have properly now ruined my marriage and I hate you. You are no longer my friend and I am transferring hospitals. I need to get home so I can discuss your little stunt when I get home."

She looked taken aback.

"If you want a sexy hot male who might want you, then go to a club, get pissed outta your head and maybe, just maybe you might get the kind of fella you want." I said harshly.

I didn't care. All that mattered to me was how Bella was. I hated myself. I wanted to rip my own heart out on a plate, give it to her before I died. But I can't. She needed me.

Ten minutes later of Tanya officially pissing me off, I slammed down the phone and went to my office, locked it and started sobbing.

I needed Bella. I hated causing her stress and worry especially as she was now pregnant.

Then there was a knock on my door. "Go away" I moaned quietly. Then I heard Dr. Irina's voice.

"Edward, it's Bella she's..."

I raced to the door and crashed it open. Dr. Irina was standing there and she was crying slightly.

"Bella has just been in a car accident. We've just finished operating on her and she's fallen into a coma." She sobbed.

_I felt numb. A Coma? No, no, NO!_

"Where is she?" I demanded.

"_Ninth_" she spluttered.

I ran down hall, up the stairwell and across the corridor. I showed my pass to a nurse outside and she opened the door for me.

I could have screamed at the sight of her. She was covered in dry blood, her head had a visible fault line down it and on her forehead was a big bump, with a purple bruise making it look focused on.

I sat in the chair next to her and watched her peaceful but damaged face.

"Her options, Edward are simple" Dr. Irina stated as she came through the door, closing it and walking to the opposite side of Bella to face me.

"She has lost quite a lot of blood and she was crashed into from the passenger side on. She seemed to have failed to notice the traffic lights at _Melbourne Junction_."

I winched. That was where most car collisions happened – the **fatal** ones.

"She hasn't broken her spine but bruised most of her nerves in her right hand side. She was operated on and most of the glass came out of her head as she hit the windshield quite fast."

She then stopped and looked at me nervously. "She _wasn't_ wearing her seatbelt."

I groaned deeper again, clutching Bella's hand for support.

"Is there any...Any chance that her child would of survived?" I whispered.

She looked up. "Child?"

"I'd better explain why this might have happened." I said, sitting up and facing her with a blank expression.

"The reason, we were in the hospital this afternoon was that Bella took a pregnancy test and found out she was pregnant. We then came here to double and triple check as we normally do. But last week was my birthday and that was the day, which my patient Daniel died. Nurse Tanya decided that she'd take me out for a drink when Bella was planning a surprise birthday party for me. So it didn't help much when I turned up to the party – quite drunk. Tanya was also kissing me when the door opened and everyone saw. I didn't kiss her and I cannot stand Tanya Denali.

"So we were having a slight problem and Bella didn't trust Tanya. You were in childbirth issue so we were told that we should have Nurse Tanya. Tanya took advantage of me when Bella went to the toilet to get her sample. Tanya kept hold of me and waited for Bella to return and Bella fled to her car and the last thing I saw was her flooring it out of the car park."

I sighed, tears pouring down my face "_And it's my fault!"_ I screamed into my hands.

Dr. Irina put her hand on my shoulder

"It's not your fault Edward. I will inform the top dog about Nurse Tanya's behaviour."

"Bella and I were thinking of moving so, meaning that I would of transferred hospitals to avoid her. I feel so _guilty_!" I stammered.

"And then what happens if by some miracle, she dose wake up and DOSEN'T remember anything! I couldn't stand it if she wouldn't remember me! I love her so much and she thinks I've been cheating on her! I swear if she dies then I might as well!" I cried out.

It was a long time that it took me to stop crying and been escorted to a waiting taxi home. As soon as I walked through the doors, I wanted to be back at the hospital, with my Bella. I then promise that if Bella regained consciousness and remembered everything – I would make it up to her.

Then after that, I would hunt down and then maybe murder Tanya Denali.


	19. Why Me?

**Why Edward? Why?**

**Chapter 19_: _Why Me?**

**EPOV  
**

This couldn't be happening.

Not MY Bella, not MY sweet, beautiful, caring, kind, friendly, innocent wife.

Not me, why me? Why?

Tanya had been put on probation since the day of Bella's crash and ever since then I have been sitting beside her bed – waiting, just waiting for her to awake from her coma so I could apologize for everything.

I was such a jackass – why hadn't I pushed Tanya away? Why had Bella believed I didn't love her anymore? So much that she sped right into oncoming traffic at the city's most dangerous junction – Melbourne Junction.

Bella's heart monitor's constant beeping had been the only thing to remind me that she was still alive and still there _somewhere_. I felt guilty and knew she had every right to hate me – but to end her own life?

The most heart-breaking part of all this was that I realised how strong and decent a woman Bella was. She had been strong (with slight episodes of trembles) during the early stages of us trying to conceive a child for months. She had pulled through the treatment with the chlamydia (which had now been vanished from both our bodies) and as well as believing me when I told her I wasn't going to leave her for Tanya. I missed her terribly. I missed how she would smile at me encouraging when she was telling me she was fine, how her face portrayed everything she was thinking, allowing me to get a faster preview of what her mind was saying to her.

I had taken to remembering how I had met Bella, how she had made such an impact on my life and aspirations. At hours at a time, I would sit down next to her and repeat them all to her from my view, even if I told her the same tale twice in a day – I didn't want her to feel alone. And more importantly I wanted her to pull through as I sure as hell wouldn't want to do what Daniel's parents did and flick the switch of her life off.

I attended Daniel's funeral a few days after Bella's crash – making sure that Alice and Jasper kept her company while I was away mourning another friend. I was asked to do a speech and I remember that when I did, the whole church had been gazing at me and they knew I was now experiencing the same as his parents.

* * *

_"Dr Cullen?" Novella Tannins, Daniel's mother dressed in a black and silk elegant dress said to me, placing her hand on my shoulder gently. "Would you…like to say something about my son?"_

_I looked up to the African woman and nodded and when she turned away I sighed heavily. I walked up to the podium and cleared my throat softly._

_"As some of you will know, I was assigned as Daniel's doctor during his time in hospital. I cared after him as if he were my own son as he was a very kind and friendly young boy. Even though he was only eight years old, before he fell into his coma, he had spoken with respect and kindly to me, asking how I was myself before asking what was happening to him. Despite his friends making him feel isolated I made him feel as comfortable and at home as I could at the hospital. He was a charming young boy who I shan't forget easily as he experienced what my wife is currently going through. So I take my hat off to him."_

_As I said this, I did take my short black hat off my head and raised it in the air. Although it had been a short speech, I felt like it had been enough._ _Novella hugged me gently as I was leaving and thanked me dearly that I had looked after her son while she and the rest of the family had abandoned him. I nodded gloomily and departed for home._

_

* * *

_

"Edward? Can you hear me?"

"Huh?" I said, jumping and whirling around to see if it had been Bella speaking. Unfortunately I turned and it was to see my parents and siblings staring back at me. I shrugged and turned back in my seat towards Bella – she needed my entire focus otherwise she'll never wake up.

I felt my mother put her hand on my shoulder and stroked my hair softly with the other. "Don't worry darling, she'll be fine." Esme whispered to me, her eyes resting on her daughter-in-law's expressionless face.

I couldn't take it anymore and completely broke down in my mother's arms. She and the rest of the family put their arms round me as I sobbed; heart-breaking sobs, shaking my entire frame and making me feel dizzy.

"I w-wa-want B-be-Bella to…to..w-wake up!" I sobbed, the tears falling so face a bowl in front of my face couldn't have even caught them with the speed they were racing down my cheeks.

Esme soothed me, sitting on the arm of my chair and cradling my face in her chest. Carlisle looked down at Bella and checked her heart monitor. It was a pointless effort, she could go at any minute and nobody would know about it.

They knew I was a wreak – the question was simple and yet very hard to answer : would I get over this?

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Oh my god! I am soooooo sorry guys that I have straved you of this story! I was just so in-love with the AliceInWonderland2010 stories that I forgot about you charming Twilight readers! Sorry sorrry with cherries on top! x xx**

**I know its short (not 1980s like ti was before sorry lol) but please I am trying to form a suitable storyline to carry the plot on - I mean whousl I end it and make another with Bella dying or anything? You suggest but I dont' like the idea of killing my main heroin in the story! **

**More EPOV? A view into the Coma-ed Bella's POV? Tell me and I'm sorr.**

**Rurple101 x**

**_btw I have a FaceBook page you can join as a friend to get updates on sotires - link on pofile near the top somewhere.._  
**


	20. The Battle

**Why Edward? Why?**

**Chapter 20: The Battle**

**Bella POV**

I felt like I was falling, the air not making a sound to let me know, how fast, how far or where I was going. I attempted but failed miserably to open my eyes – begging that I was going to die. Too much pain in life, the pain of Edward's cheating, the silliness of my actions and the plead for death to cover me with six feet of dirt over my head in a marble coffin. Please. I don't want to live.

**Edward POV**

#_Pump it, louder! Pump it, louder! Pump it, louder!_!#

That cursed music was all I was addicted to. I couldn't make myself get out of bed today. The Black Eyed peas seemed to be saying how I felt.

I looked at the clock and sighed. It was half past one in the afternoon and I'd been laying here for nearly three hours since I last glanced at it and turned my bedside radio on.

#_Turn up the radio! Blast your stereo right now!#_

Nah, I cannot be bothered, I thought and rolled over onto to Bella's side of the bed. Her pillow had been pushed over the edge and I picked it up quickly and inhaled her sweet scent. How I miss you Bella…

I sighed deeper again and got up gingerly and walked towards the bathroom to get washed. I got into the shower and stood there for several minutes inspecting my body. I'd gained some weight and my legs were especially hairy – but that was normal for men. My abs weren't showing as much as they usually were – maybe because I hadn't gone to the gym since I last went which was a few days before Bella's accident.

I leant against the shower wall, ignoring the water splashing down on me and imagined Bella's face. But I couldn't see _my_ Bella. I saw the Bella who had just suffered a serve car crash – lying in her bed on the Ninth ward in the hospital.

It had been five months since her crash and our argument and I was terrified that she would either a) never wake up. b) not remember me if she did wake up or c) she would remember me but that she hated me.

But all I wanted was that she would be ok. Maybe if she didn't remember me then she would be happy and divorce me without a second as she wouldn't remember me at all. Despite being a painful thought – I knew that if you loved someone enough then you would let them go without a second thought.

My family, Carlisle and Esme the most; had told me to stop acting like such a drama queen and wait for the results.

I sighed and grabbed my shampoo, maybe I was acting slightly too dramatic – I need to tell Bella beforehand anyway that I was sorry and loved her _unconditionally_.

**Bella POV**

I could now feel stabbing pains in the back of head and thought that something was happening. There was no pain yet any bliss either. I must be hovering on a line of life or death. Maybe if this stopped mucking about then I'd die.

**Edward POV**

I was greeted by the normal chaos as I stepped into the hospital and was glad that nobody came over to me. I was on "_holiday_" to my work position as I had worked overtime for nearly two years holiday at least. Thankfully I'd saved it and not even half a year's of it had gone yet as I'd been saving it up for a holiday with my Bella.

Talking of Bella, I walked straight to her room and closed the door gently behind me. My brain wanted to make me cry but I couldn't as my pain was beyond tears now. I sat in the chair beside her bed and took her hand very carefully into mine. I stroked my thumb over her palm and sighed.

"Hello again Bella" I whispered to the quiet room except for the slow heart rate monitor. I glanced at it and saw it was as low as it sounded.

"Bella, don't die on me sweetheart" I mumbled, my control slipping and the tears falling down onto her hand in mine. "I love you too much. I would say I'm sorry but I'm scared you won't forgive me however many times I say it. You saw for yourself me kissing her. She kissed me Bella but if you ever wake up and decide to hate me then I will accept your choice. I mean I love you and you maybe might not even remember me! But anyway I will let you go as that is how much you mean to me despite it not sounding like it."

I thought I felt a shudder or movement roll through her but I ignored it. It was probably nothing anyway.

**Bella POV**

I was in the state of the coma where I could choose what to do. My body was telling me that I could live if I wanted to and return to the living. But my sub-conscious was saying how much I hated it and that heartbreak was near and making me choose death. I saw the Grim Reaper, my life flash in front of my eyes. Hell, I even saw the best moments of my life, the day I met Edward, the day he saved me, the day he proposed, we got married and several attempts of him helping through the pregnancy battle.

But then, I felt something, something on my…hand…was it called? I felt another hand (if that is what it was called) slip into mine and its thumb stroke my open palm. I felt a rush of desire course through me as the voice spoke words that I wanted to hear.

"Bella, don't die on me sweetheart" It mumbled and I realized it my husband, Edward Cullen sitting beside me and talking to me. I was touched as another roll of happiness covered desire coursed through me.

"I love you too much. I would say I'm sorry but I'm scared you won't forgive me however many times I say it. You saw for yourself me kissing her. _She_ kissed _me_ Bella but if you ever wake up and decide to hate me then I will accept your choice. I mean I love you and you maybe might not even remember me! But anyway I will let you go as that is how much you mean to me despite it not sounding like it."

I felt my heart sink as all I was hearing was him giving up on me. Was he giving p on his dying wife? I felt a sob course through me and sensed he felt it.

But _wait_! I could choose to go back to him or stay in death! The Grim Reaper was waving his sword, pointing at his hourglass which was running out of sand. The last grain fell to the bottom and I had to choose now. _Live or die?_

_

* * *

_

**You guys asked for both sides and this was what I came up with! Tell me how good and also – thank you for the massive support! 100 reviews! WOW! Thank you so much! :D **

**Next Update shall be in less than a week!**


	21. Her Choice

**Why Edward? Why?**

**Chapter 21 "Her Choice"**

**BELLA POV**

The blackness disorientated me; lying in a simple sleeping position, eyes tightly closed and hands balled into fists. I had no idea what was happening but I knew that with all my heart I was thinking the same thing: Let me live!

I fought for my heart to continue beating until it got up to the speed I needed it to; to restart my empty lungs, to clean my bloody from disease and pain, to ease my muscles into submission and out of the darkness my life had become.

I could forgive Edward like any other good wife would do. My common sense had caught up with me and was saying how he never hated me, never loved Tanya so it made sense now. She was a cheap slag who just wanted him for sex. He LOVED me. He couldn't even _stand_ her.

I attempted, yet again, to take a breath of air. But all I could feel was a pipe halfway down my throat and I panicked. _What if I choked on it?_ But I felt a hand brush along my cheek and remove the pipe, helping, me to breath. But it was wrenched out of my mouth, making the pain rip at my throat. I contained my gasp and felt my heart slow…and I heard a girlish fake laugh as I blanked out. I also remembered it containing fake nails as I passed away.

**EDWARD POV**

I groaned and sank back deeper into my chair opposite Carlisle's desk in his office at the hospital. He had been spending the last hour, to convince me that he couldn't allow me to use all my over-time at once. I couldn't believe this crap.

"Edward, it's perfectly clear" he had said, trying to remain calm. "If the other nurses and doctors see that I am allowing you to stay off work, longer than you are actually allowed at the hospital then they will argue along at me. The fact they you are my son is a way that they will see as _unfair_!"

But by this time I was tired of this crap. "I don't care, dad. I'm gunna go check on my wife which is the reason why I am staying off work!" I snapped and ran towards Bella's room. But as I tried the door, it was locked. I heard a cackle from inside.

"_Bella_? Is that you?" I called through the door.

_"No and it shall never be her because she is DEAD_!" I head a female shout, but I couldn't recognize it.

"Who is that in there?" I yelled, hammering on the door, these doors were normally open all the time.

_"It's Tanya, Edward sweetie! Your wife has long passed on! She didn't seem to want her air-tube as she was choking on it. So I ripped it from her throat and she has died_!" Tanya yelled, happily.

I could hear the sound of the heart monitor fading away. I couldn't loose Bella –_ not now!_

I hammered on the door and it crashed open and what I saw was horrid. I saw Bella in her bed, the flat line just a few seconds away and she was struggling to keep her eyes opening.

Tanya was hovering over her with a nurse knife in her hand.

"Leave my wife alone you _bitch_!" I yelled and tackled her to the ground.

Tanya seemed to put up a good fight but after a second of fighting, I knocked her out and grabbed the pipe and tugged it towards Bella's mouth.

She chocked again as it entered her mouth but the beating of her heart started up again, slowly but alive.

She was finally breathing properly and I looked round to see several nurses and doctors, including Carlisle staring at me in confusion. I pointed towards Tanya knocked out on the floor. I knew that I was in the good. The CCTV would show I was innocent.

**BELLA POV**

I felt an uncomfortable darkness hover over me as if stating that I was going to die. I gasped in shock – _no! I didn't want to die! Let me live! Let me live! Please!_

A light shone on my face, directly in my eyes, I blinked – or at least tried to – let me live!

I felt my heart jotter as it struggled. No! I needed more oxygen! _Let me live!_

But suddenly I felt fresh air hit my face and I took a deep long lungful of air, preserving my life and waking me up from the dreaded coma. I twitched and felt the nerves awaking in m body, my brain warming up and my heart still breathing furiously.

I opened my eyes, blinking hard and looked up into my husband's shocked and tired face.

"I'm awake." I said simply before he caught up and the tears of happiness washed down his cheeks. I smiled – I had survived the internal battle with myself.

* * *

**Sorry if it sounds a bit cheesy or un-realistic but I was egar to get this out for you guys! Rurple101 xx**


	22. Back To Reality

**Why Edward? Why?**

**Chapter 22: Back To Reality**

**BELLA POV**

* * *

It was odd (to say the least) to be awake and healthy. While my husband stood beside the bed, still frozen in his shocked state, sobbing his heart out, my father-in-law Carlisle walked over and gave me a warm hug.

"How are you feeling Bella, darling?" he asked, still grinning broadly down at me from where I was still sitting upwards in the bed.

"I feel…healthy," I said confidently.

Then I spotted the figure on the ground and the nurses who were still at the door.

Raising my eyebrows I glanced up at Carlisle and then to the doorway. He saw what I meant.

"There was a bit of drama in here a few minutes ago. Nurse Denali or should I say-" he raised his voice as the figure started to move and several security police officers filed into the room. "- just Tanya Denali. You are no longer a General Health Nurse Assistant at this hospital or anywhere within this state or possibly the entire US."

His tone was not its usual calm, gentle and welcoming voice. It was harsh, bitter and nasty. It sent a shiver down my spine; it was un-natural for me to hear him like this. He just kept one secure arm round my shoulder but squeezed me gently when he felt my discomfort.

Tanya opened her mouth comically like a fish, open and closed as she looked at the demon-ed side of the Head Doctor. He was the boss, not only because of years of expertise but because he was normally fair and the best doctor around, despite the fact that he knew her a 'friend' it was still business as usual.

"What?" Tanya hissed. "I came in here to help her!"

Edward jerked out of his statue and whirled on her with a glare in place.

"You liar" he hissed in a menacing fashion. "You took away my wife's air pipe that was supplying her with air in which she was using to breathe! Do you breathe Tanya? Because that is what keeps you alive! You weren't helping by taking it away! You were planning a murder to get you hands on me! Even if you plan had 'succeeded' I would have never gone to your level! I love Bella with all my soul and I would never go to a desperate, skanky, bitchy and horrific COW like you!"

By the end of his speech he was shouting at her, right in her face.

Instinctively, being the wife of Edward and knowing what he could get like when he was beyond this point of anger, I reached out and managed to tug softly at his sweater vest.

That made me think; when did Edward wear sweater-vests? Alice is going to have a fit if she hasn't seen him like his already.

I over-looked his appearance in the space between him noticing my tug and then looking at me.

Edward looked (to me) awake, tired and ill. He had dark rings round his eyes and bags were balanced underneath them. He was wearing (if my memory was accurate) the same clothes that he wore the last night I remembered him. But how long had I been in that coma? How many questions did I have? It was also amazing how calm and child-like I was acting.

Edward looked at me and immediately his whole face softened. It didn't surprise me; I'd been under for a while and he couldn't be angry at the wife he may or may not have missed. We still had to talk.

"Bell-" Edward started to say but then the sound of familiar heavy boats walking down the hallway stopped him.  
I had heard that sound throughout my summers in Forks while I was little. Hearing it made me re-live that time.

Sure enough round the corner and I was staring right into the eyes of my father, Head Police Chief, Charlie Swan.

He stopped short when he saw me awake and the many people in the room. He turned to the officers (having gotton over his shock quickly) and said, "Alright lads, get her outta here. Take her to the station for the night and a half at least."

They took Tanya, still struggling against the captors ("GET OFF ME!")

Charlie turned to me and winked. "You alright Bells?"

Chuckling I raised my arms like a seven year old and smiled brightly. Carlisle released me and went to the door, getting the nurses back to their stations.

Charlie huffed happily as he easily strode over to me and embraced me tightly. I hugged him just as desperately back. It was good to see him after so long. It had been ages since I'd seen him, probably before my last miscarriage.

"It's good to see you Dad" I murmured, snuggling into his hug.

"You too Bells. I have to pop off quickly but I'm so glad your awake. Also, Renee wants to see you this week, sorry that I have to go." He said quickly. I looked up and saw he had tears in his eyes.

I grinned happily again and patted his cheek. "Don't worry Dad, I'm all better now."

He nodded; once to me and then he turned to Edward, patted him on the shoulder and nodded to him as well. Edward nodded back and gave him a hesitant smile. Charlie then left, closing the door behind him and that left Edward and me alone.


	23. Time To Talk

**Why Edward? Why?**

**Chapter 23: Time To Talk**

**BELLA POV  
**

* * *

I looked back at him, thinking over all the memories of us together from our marriage to each other. It was nearly eight years since we had tied the knot.

_Had it been a good eight years?_

_How was I supposed to answer that question?_

Yes it had been all lovely with the waking up to each other every morning, entangled in each other's legs and arms.

The joy of being together, the kissing, the cuddles and the sex as well as the amount of love committed were important. The love that had flowed between us was still there, just buried beneath the surface. It was like algae, it floated just below the surface but it was still in the water, still hard to reach, no matter how close.

_Did Edward still want me?_

The last I'd seen he was kissing Tanya, the woman who had tried to kill me while I was still unconscious. He had yelled in her face, declaring his love for me. Or was it just an act? Was I insulting him by thinking this?

_Was I ready to continue this marriage?_

Was I ready to accept that I might just not be able to conceive a child of my own? Could I live with that and remain a faithful and loving wife to a husband who I didn't really know if the chemistry and love was still active? If I could continue to live with the only man I had ever loved, would I settle for adoption and give up on the natural way to get a baby?

"Bella" Edward said softly. It alerted my attention to him but also scattered my carefully made thoughts and made them dashed back to their drawers deep within my mind and locked them shut.

I looked at him with wide child-like eyes.

Then I sighed.

"Bella love, I'm not at all involved with her" Edward said sftly, looking me swiftly staight in my eyes, answering my thoughts.

"Really?" I asked smoothly.

"Yes" he answered.

He walked to the edge of my bed and sat down on the chair. "I cannot stand her. I love only you. You're my wife, but you've seen all the bad parts of me, before we were amrried. I'm sorry if you can't do this anymore. I'll promise you this though-."

He took a deep breath.

"This can only work out between us if we both want to continue this. I want to remain married to you. If you want a divorce then I will wait until you are ready and give it to you if you don't want to be with me anymore."

"It isn't a situation of 'not wanting to be with you'" I argued, straightening my back as I defended myself. "It's the fact that I need to wake up properly and sort my head out. That can only happen if I can trust you. You, to me, were the husband who looked like you were cheating, although I know that is all Tanya's scheming."

I sighed again.

"I do want to be with you Edward, it's just hard for me to trust my own actions. I have a part of me screaming that I can't trust you. I don't want to listen to it, but it's my logic that is telling me that. I need to learn to trust you properly so I can trust myself. I haven't exactly been the best wife ever but a woman tries!"

"Bella" he interrupted me. "You ARE a good wife to me. It's just that we look like we are having an issue here. I will not give up until you have trusted me enough to fall back in love with me again."

My head jerked up and my mouth was in a wide 'O' shape.

I found my speech slowly.

"I-I never said it was a fact of love, Edward" I half gasped. "I was just thinking that I am a bit well…bossy sometimes." My answer was feeble.

"Bella stop blaming yourself and admit it to yourself!" he moaned, shaking his head slightly and he looked pained. "You can't trust yourself around me so you are put off trusting me as your partner. You still have strong feelings of love for me, you just don't want to love me again in case you get hurt. Can't you see that sweetheart?"

My brain was nodding along with him. I couldn't believe it.

"Edward, are you sure you aren't over-reacting with this?" I hesitantly asked. "I don't hate you or anything! I still love you Edward-"

"You're not IN LOVE with me as much as you were before Bella" he interrupted me again, as if he was forcing me to agree with him. "You are giving in to your brain which is telling you that you feel in-sercue slightly."

My brain was nodding; forcing me to agree with Edward as well.

I suddenly found it harder to breathe; the air was slowly chugging in and out of my mouth lazily.

I shook my head "Don't be an idiot Edward. Now you're scaring me."

"It's true Bell-"

_"WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP WITH THIS BOLLOCKS!_" I half screamed at him, making him jump and nearly fall off his seat.

" I have been back to the living world for exactly half an hour now and I do not need you messing with my scattered thoughts. I will decide this when I can mull it over! Not when you decide that I'm a freakin child and you're the adult telling me that I'm wrong and your right!"

I glared at him, narrowing my eyes and crossing my arms.

He sighed heavily.

"You haven't even said that you missed me or that you were worried about me" I added childishly.

He half chuckled.

"Bella love, stop being silly."

"You stop being a complete jerk, Edward and then I might decide to speak for myself!"

He laughed.

It was amazing how much I had missed him, seeing his smile. His laughter was one thing that I had sub-consciously craved to hear, to know that my husband would always be there for me and make me happy.

"I do love you Edward, it's just…I want to be appriciated like when we started thast honeymoon. Or better, when you first asked me to marry you. Or when you told me that you loved me. Or when we first met? ANYTHING that _shows_ me that you are devoted to me as much as possible. I know its selfish but-"

He interuped me a third time.

"Bella love, calm down. I understand." He said gently.

There was a silence.

"Can I kiss you Bella?" he asked, in the same way he had nearly twelve years previously.

I responded in the same way I had before, but this time I wasn't marking his homework and instead I was in a hospital bed.

"If you want to Edward."

He smiled his croaked grin I'm missed more than him and leaned forward to meet his lips with mine.

It was exactly how it was all those years ago.

It was cheesy; fireworks in my head, a slight dizziness took over me and my pulse ran twice as fast as normal. I smiled and wrapped my arms round his neck and he pulled me closer to him.

We pulled away after a minute and laughed out loud at the same time.

"You are so beautiful Bella, I think I'm in love with you" he breathed.

"You better know that Edward" I quoted. "Because I'm in love with you too!"

It was odd to quote ourselves from when we were teenagers.

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